moodboard

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"

it's not until the cottage, until the first afternoon together, that he can reach for it without thinking. he's on his back, legs slung over the top of ilya's arms, spread wide and gasping the first time it escapes on a low, breathy moan. barely more than a hitch in his chest. as easy as a sigh.

and it makes ilya pause. he stills his hips to a slow grind that still has him arching off the sheets. ilya collapses around him, mouth trailing up his neck to the hollow behind his ear.

"say that again." he hovers above shane, lips parted and eyes blown out, and looking at him like he wants to eat him whole. "say it," he says, emphasising each word with a filthy roll of his hips, "again."

pleasure lights him up, sweet heat burning in his veins, and he almost chokes in his haste to do as he asks. "il-ya."

he receives the bitten off, "fuck, shane" right into his mouth as ilya kisses him in that all consuming way he loves so much.

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

The call is coming from inside the house

And sometimes people notice that they've disappeared together when they were only supposed to be crossing the room, and that Shane looks so much more relaxed and calm than he did and if they want to assume that Ilya just got him off in the janitor's closet then hey, that's on them (and is maybe not a wrong assumption every time).

He'll take the hit if they have to leave, too. So sorry to be leaving so early but I have splitting headache. We'll catch up in a few weeks! Or sometimes, depending on the crowd, just a wink and a comment about how amazing Shane looks and it really is getting late. No one ever has to know that Shane's the one struggling.

Except, sometimes, between all the hockey videos Shane gets on the rare occasions Ilya sees him scrolling through Instagram, he'll get a video of otters. And to Ilya's surprise, Shane almost always sits through the whole thing.

This seems so out of left-field that Ilya ends up texting Yuna about it. He'd ask Shane about it, but he's scared that he'll get embarrassed and stop watching them when Ilya's around. Yuna immediately texts back like, "Oh yeah, Shane loves otters. Always has. He hasn't told you about Wa?"

And Ilya's heart immediately beats faster in that way it does when he learns something new and unexpected about his husband.

"No he has not. What is a 'Wa'?"

He gets sent a photo a few minutes later of what was probably once a very cute otter plushie, but is now squashed beyond all recognition and missing an eye and an ear.

"Sorry, it was hidden in the back of his closet so I had to dig it out. This is Wa. Or Otter-Wa. David called him that as a joke and it stuck. We got it because Shane was upset we couldn't take the otters home with us, and it became his favorite toy. He wouldn't go anywhere without it."

Ilya is, of course, delighted to learn this and immediately begins plotting.

A few months later, on Shane's birthday, Ilya leads him blindfolded to the surprise he's organised for him.

"I hear water. Baby, you didn't just drag me to a pool after hours, did you? Because I've talked to the contractors and we can install a pool if that's what you want."

And Ilya laughs as he undoes the blindfold, revealing the otter enclosure.

"After all these years I hope that my surprises are a little bit better than that."

And Ilya watches as Shane's eyes fill with tears as he realises where he is.

"Otters?" he asks, looking at Ilya in wonder. "But how did you... I've never told you about the otters."

"You didn't need to," he says with a shrug. "I pay attention to my beautiful husband when he does things. I thought you might like to actually meet some."

"Ready for introductions?" asks one of the zookeepers, and Ilya nods, following them over to the pool.

"But how... Ilya this must have cost a fortune."

And Ilya laughs again at that, pressing a kiss to Shane's cheek.

And Shane finds it so cute, so next time he buys nicer ones.

He doesn't do it a lot, but a few times a year he'll make a point to bring flowers. Slowly he learns what Ilya likes best, the bright and vibrant colours, all mixed up with yellows and purples and reds.

Shane loves adding lilies to the mix, when he can, just because it always makes Ilya go "oh, lilies, huh? You think you're clever, don't you? Mr. Romance!"

~

so yuna and david show up to every Centaurs game wearing Rozanov jerseys instead of hollander. they had to buy so many new ones and ended up donating a bunch of shane’s they never wore anymore.

david always calls and asks Ilya what he’d like for family dinner, but never asks shane. shane will pull out frozen meal prep without complaint if he doesn’t like ilya’s choice, while ilya marvels at whatever david cooks up for him. “what is this you say? marriage chicken” ilya asks. “Marry Me Chicken,” david answers. “this is gravy, yes?” Ilya says, shoving half a chicken breast into his mouth

at christmas they have to get new stockings made, because the hollander’s traditional stockings are too old to buy a matching one for Ilya. Ilya cries fat tears when he opens them on christmas eve. Shane pouts because he’s going to miss his Santa stocking from childhood, and Yuna smacks him upside the head until he shuts up. They also have a stocking made for Anya <3

when both ilya and shane come down with a nasty flu at the same time (one in montreal one in ottawa), yuna and david camp out with ilya to help him through his convalescence instead of shane. because they know ilya is a big baby when he’s sick while shane will refuse any help and would prefer to be left alone

when ilya goes through a particularly bad depressive episode, yuna and david call up Galina and ask for advice on how to care for him, and pull out every trick in the book. ilya is too raw and embarrassed to thank them but cries into shane’s chest every night because he feels so loved but also so guilty

But can we talk about Thousand Yard Stare Ilya Rozanov sitting in the bed, not letting himself indulge in a goodbye kiss, or a lingering touch- while simultaneously processing Shane’s question about Russia.

‘Do you even like it there?’

As if it matters.

As if he has a choice.

As if he’s not trapped, the same as Shane.

"My supermodel. See how fucking beautiful you look here. You are hockey and sex. Everyone in this city sees this billboard and wants to fuck you. But only I can. Only I get to fuck the sexy billboard man."

He keeps Shane this way for ages, not touching him, bringing him right to the edge, only to stop and talk about another part of Shane's photo he likes like he's talking about a work of art in a gallery. Then he goes right back to fucking him.

When he finally wraps a hand around Shane's cock and tells him that it's okay to let go, that he's done so well and that Ilya wants to see him come for him now, Shane comes so hard he almost blacks out.

i’m bored let’s make out

do you want to come run errands with me

let’s leave i wanna touch you

do you wanna watch the game later

i’m sad can i see your biceps

“I never fucking wanted to be a role model! I never asked for it! Why do I have to be the one representing the whole goddamn Asian community and their place in hockey? Why do I have to watch what I say, how I say it, when every other fucking player just gets to act however they like, huh?! I can’t appear too cocky because “what about the children?” I can’t be caught doing anything that could wreck the perfect fucking image of hockey’s Golden Boy. I’m a leader, but I can’t forget that I’m an Asian leading a bunch of white men around so I have to make sure I don’t overstep or make them uncomfortable. Can’t forget my place, ya know. Like I could ever forget! I have to listen to every fucking racist chirp, but I can’t get too upset about it, no, otherwise what will the white fans think?! They can’t have an aggressive person of color on the ice calling out racism! God forbid! Now I can’t “act too gay” because that’s feeding into racist stereotypes? What the fuck does that even mean?! How does me being gay have anything to do with me being Asian? I’m fucking Canadian anyway! I was born here! Grew up here! My dad is fucking white for fucks sake! Oh, but don’t even get me started on that. I try so hard but it’s never fucking enough. And just because my mother is Japanese? How does that make sense?! The 2010s are almost over, why do I still have to deal with this fucking shit?! Ugh! I’m just so fucking tired of having to be perfect all the time!”

Ilya sat there patiently listening as Shane paced back and forth in front of him, letting him get it all out. He doesn’t always catch every word Shane says, but he can get the gist. They’ve been here many times before over the years. Every few months, Shane just loses it. Ilya can never really understand what his boyfriend is going through, but he’s happy to be the one Shane can open up to about all the pressure he’s always under.

Eventually, Shane loses steam and just flops down on the sofa, head landing in Ilya’s lap. Ilya immediately cards his fingers through Shane’s hair, nails scraping against his scalp because he knows he likes that.

“Feel better?”

“Mmm, eh, not really. Thanks for listening, though.”

Ilya leans down to kiss his temple. “Any time.”

but now it's too late and shane has flipped the power dynamic in this joke