Look At The Flowers

kill

“First of all” I say indignantly, with absolutely no idea where i’m going with this

i say “first of all” with an immense amount of confidence and then immediately forget what i was about to say

I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”

Kneels down, touches dirt. “Something terrible happened here.”

listen I can respect that Marina ‘and the Diamonds’ Lambrini Diamandis wrote a song about how bad she wants to fuck and made all the lyrics about fruit and eating and stuff, but I cannot condone her using the lyric ‘I’m your cauliflower’ and expecting it to be considered sexy

I think about this post often

a singular scuit. just one. 

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

A thousand years from now people will find this symbol and be at a Loss as to it’s meaning.

People like this exist. Interesting.

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

I thought it was the same person ngl.

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

Stephanie is a true hero.

my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet

I have to read this with a really annoying white straight girl voice in my head