So, here we are in a brand new year. I know it’s hard to believe, but I already have some things to say about it.
-Resolutions: Not making them this year. Last year, I made them in the rush of the whole new year spirit thing. I didn’t actually care about most of them, so I didn’t complete the majority of them. For 2018, I have one main focus. I am going to speak directly to myself a lot here. Forgive me.
Hey, you. It’s 2018, your true last year of being a teenager. Being 13 was fucking awesome looking back at it now. You probably didn’t think much of it back then. You didn’t appreciate much back then. Let’s not make a habit of that. You’re 19 now. So many big and beautiful things are constantly happening to you. Your goal this year is to allow yourself to completely feel happiness when it comes along. Remember those few times you were feeling good and packed up all your stuff to go sit out on the green in the sunlight? Do that even more. Happiness is a gift to you. It only comes around so often, and if you take the time to nurture it, it’ll stick around much longer. Go on adventures, and don’t worry about making it back on time for class. If you’re feeling like eating waffles for dinner, do it and put ice cream on top. Sit on the green, close your eyes, feel the sunlight, and strum your ukulele. I’m not going to tell you that you’ll be happy all the time this year. That’s way too optimistic for us. I just want you to be so good at being happy that when you are completely depressed, you can confidently say to yourself, “I will be happy again.” That’s my grand plan for you this year. There aren’t a lot of rules or specifics to it, but you’ll figure out all the details as you go. And if you’re finding yourself reading this on New Year’s Eve before we get to 2019 and you’re not ready for this year to end, please remember that you will be happy again.
-Memories: Today, you cried. A lot. Generally, that’s not the way people want to start their year. However, it was incredibly important. You drove away from your yearly sleepover at your high school friend’s house for the last time. Hopefully, you will all keep up the tradition some way. But this is the last time you will all cram into the same room, wake up randomly and share silent moments, and just feel the same again together. You cried for a reason. You love all of these people so passionately, and I mean so passionately. They are important to you!!! You missed the ones who weren’t there, and you couldn’t stop holding on to the ones who were. I know you always seem to find yourself busy at school, but you have the time to text them and call them and stay in touch. You have the time. So, please I am begging you to put in some more effort. I know you hate technology. I know it overwhelms you sometimes. But is it worth being absolutely clueless as to how the people you love are doing? Do better.
-Life: When you drove into town today, you ended up on the route you used to walk every day for 3 years from the bus stop. On that corner with the cute house, you saw the same old couple you saw all the time walking out to their car. You were instantly filled with so much joy that they are both still alive. You think about them close to never. If you were asked to name important people in your life, they would not make the list. However, they are so important to you. They’re a connection to your past. You always wondered if they thought about you. The days you had a club after school, you sometimes worried that they wouldn’t see you and would think something was wrong. Maybe they paid you absolutely no attention at all. But they were always there, and you paid attention to them. And they’re alive! You’re not that old yet. You put this huge block in between you now and freshman year you, but if you keep doing that, you’ll just crush all the memories that belong in that space. Don’t do that, you fool. You haven’t got much of a life yet. You’re only 19. Every memory makes up who you are. True, freshman year you was a socially awkward nerd who couldn’t have even managed to ever look that couple in the eyes. However, she’s still part of you. Keep your friends, but also keep yourself. Let the younger yous stack inside each other as you go like those Russian stacking dolls. Later, you’ll want the chance to open them up again.
That’s all I’ve got for now. I have no authority to say half of these things, but let’s see what you do with them anyway.
