love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”

We should be training dogs to provide sniff-based pregnancy tests. Every pharmacy should have an enormous wise-eyed hound by the entrance who bows his head before those with child. Each one could, perhaps, also provide abortions with a single touch of his gnarled paw.

jacks off and uses the post-nut clarity to solve sudokus

the No Child Left Behind act and its consequences have been a disaster for American public schooling. it's so hated that most conservatives I see talking about it blame it on Obama instead of the president who actually did it, GW Bush. we've had a combination of a "learn to read" program constructed by a dyslexic guy who doesn't believe dyslexia exists + that no one actually sounds out words when reading, plus a federal policy of "letting kids socialize with their age group is much more important to their success than mastering the material before advancing to the next grade, no student can be failed or held back anymore" from a guy who got into an Ivy because his dad was the President and who earned straight Cs the entire time. for like. 15-20 years. now those students are hitting university level and universities are not prepared to deal with the amount of remedial learning these students need. and of course covid exacerbated the problem

What if we gave universal healthcare to everyone who wanted it and everyone else who didn't can just keep getting scammed by these companies for some reason

“everybody needs to stop acting like they’d be friends with Eddie Munson, you all need to admit you wouldn’t have been” actually! I would. at lunch in high school, I sat next to a kid who drew furry porn commission art on his lunch break and a juggalo sat on my other side. my high school girlfriend wore a Marilyn Manson (this was before 2018) practically every single day. my prom date was expelled for bringing drugs to school 2 weeks before senior prom and I had to eat the cost of his suit rental. the guy who was supposed to DM our D&D campaign couldn’t because he was kicked out of his stepdad’s house and was working every single day at job at Burger King. I hate to say it but the spirit of Eddie Munson from Stranger Things Season 4 is alive and well in every faggoty vaguely metalhead teenage friend group, tattoos, obnoxious behavior and all. and I fear he would have been my bestest buddy in the whole wide world.

maybe my least favorite btvs fandom take of all time is the idea that buffy is at fault for faith's downward spiral in season 3. there are certainly worse and more offensive takes out there but this one really bothers me. i just think it's insane that people look at buffy and faith in that season and somehow come to the conclusion that it was the personal responsibility of this one unstable traumatized teenage girl to fix the other unstable traumatized teenage girl and not like idk. any of the adults who were supposed to be responsible for them

i think it's important for most people's mental health to have a space where they can safely and unashamedly express being horny and i don't mean milquetoast tongue-in-cheek "oh step on me mommy" jokes or whatever i mean capital h Horny

fun fact: tigers also contract their muscles to make a slow tiger into a fast tiger

last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

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Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

Ill be a star

me when feeling suspiciously relaxed: what responsibility have i forgotten