A Simp For Fictionional Characters

Bucciarati – Sticky Fingers

You’ll be cuddling and suddenly feel a zipper slide across your back- and Bruno is just zipping open the couch so you two can lay deeper inside it like a cocoon. A snuggle fort, but designer.

He’ll unzip a little pouch on your sleeve or bag to secretly tuck in sweet notes, wrapped candies, or even mini flowers he picked for you.

Once used Sticky Fingers to zip you both into a quiet, untouched section of a church so you could slow dance in peace.

If someone’s bothering you? Zipped them halfway into a lamppost and smiled like nothing happened.

Giorno – Gold Experience

Turns random pebbles, twigs, or junk into beautiful fresh flowers and tucks them behind your ear like it’s nothing.

Gave you a ladybug brooch… only for it to wiggle and fly around you like a pet. He made it specifically to keep an eye on you and bring him updates if you're in danger.

He once made a baby deer appear to calm you when you were anxious. You cried. He pretended it was no big deal but he was so proud.

When you’re tired, he gives life to pillows or blankets to crawl over and swaddle you like they have a mind of their own.

Narancia – Aerosmith

“I’m not spying on you! Aerosmith is just checking on you!!” (He is absolutely spying on you).

Uses Aerosmith to drop off snacks at your location like a personal delivery drone.

Has sent it to write “I ♡ U” in the dirt with bullets once. It was dramatic, but cute.

If someone says something rude to you, expect Aerosmith to fly by and kick up a mini tornado of wind in their face.

Loves to watch you play with Aerosmith like it’s a toy plane- he’ll pretend to be cool but he’s so soft about it.

Mista – Sex Pistols

The Pistols are obsessed with you. You’re their favorite human. They bring you Mista’s stuff all the time- his hat, one inanimate bullet, chewed gum (ew).

When you’re sad, the Pistols dogpile on you to cheer you up, saying things like “He likes you so much, dummy!!” and “He talks about you all the time!!”

Mista tries to act chill but he’s always smirking when the Pistols ask you to kiss them so they can “pass it along to Guido.”

They once spelled out “LOVE U” in bullets on your nightstand and Mista claimed he had no idea how it got there. (He absolutely coached them.)

Abbacchio – Moody Blues

Uses Moody Blues to replay your favorite memories- especially ones where you’re laughing or goofing around. He says it’s “for evidence” but keeps watching them himself.

He’ll silently replay a moment you were kind to him when he’s had a rough day, then come up and hug you wordlessly.

Moody Blues imitates your voice sometimes just to tease him. He blushes and tells it to shut up.

If you're asleep, he’ll sit Moody Blues near you like a guard dog. It replays the sound of your heartbeat.

Trish – Spice Girl

Spice Girl will soften the bed so it’s extra bouncy when you fall into it, or the couch when you collapse into her arms. Like luxury plush mode activated.

She’ll send Spice Girl to gently push you toward her when you’re being shy, saying “Just kiss me already!” with a smirk.

If your shoe breaks? Your phone falls? Spice Girl swoops in to save it before you even notice.

She uses it like an invisible stylist- softening your shoes, bag straps, or clothes when she notices they’re uncomfortable. Fashion girl behavior.

Fugo – Purple Haze

He swears up and down he’ll never use Purple Haze near you because it’s too dangerous.

You once complimented Purple Haze’s mask design. Next time you see it, there’s a mini heart scratched into it.

Fugo glares whenever Purple Haze tries to get close to you (which it always does), but deep down he’s proud his Stand is obsessed with you too.

Risotto Nero

At first, Risotto was suspicious. You were too… soft. Always walking barefoot in the grass. Talking about butterflies. Your aura was calm where his world was chaos. But then he realized something- whenever you were nearby, things stopped going wrong. Missions went smoother. Ambushes on them failed. 

He figured it out one day when you hugged him goodbye and someone who tried to tail you suddenly got flattened by a rogue vending machine.

He confronted you- quiet, intense. “What’s your Stand?” And when you shyly explained Wonder of U, and how it punishes any direct harm that tries to pursue you, Risotto just stared. For a long time. Then pulled you into the softest, gentlest hug he’d ever given.

“You don’t even kill,” he whispered. “But you might be more dangerous than I am.” And he meant it lovingly.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto’s first instinct was to protect you. You couldn't be from this world- you talked to plants, for Christ’s sake. But the moment he started dating you, enemies kept… dying. In absurd ways. Slipping on banana peels. Getting stung by hundreds of wasps. Hit by their own cars.

He started to think he was cursed until you finally admitted, “It’s my Stand… it keeps us safe. As long as someone means me harm, it’ll make sure they regret it.”

Prosciutto blinked. “So I don’t have to worry about anything happening to you either?”

You smiled. “Nope. As long as they pursue us, they’re the ones in danger.”

He swore, kissed your forehead, and never let you out of his sight again. “Stay close. I’m gonna live forever with you.”

Pesci

Pesci? Was SHOOK. You were so sweet and kind. You cried when you accidentally stepped on a bug. He met you in a park and thought, she’s too good for this world. So when you confessed you weren’t from the mafia at all, he panicked- how can I keep her safe??

But then… well, one of his old enemies tried to shoot at you while you were sitting nearby braiding flowers. And the man tripped, fell headfirst into a river, and got eaten by eels.

You didn’t even look.

You explained your Stand shyly, expecting him to run away- but he just stared at you with wide eyes, then wrapped you up in a hug and cried into your shoulder. “I-I thought I was supposed to protect you! But you’re like… like an angel!”

You patted his back. “Don’t worry, Pesci. We protect each other.”

Ghiaccio

“YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’RE NOT EVEN IN THE MAFIA AND YOU HAVE A STAND THAT MAKES YOU UNTOUCHABLE?”

Yeah. That’s how it started.

Ghiaccio was furious at first- not at you, but at the sheer irony. Here he was, freezing people to death and dodging bullets, and you were off sniffing flowers and somehow more lethal by accident.

But then he saw it in action. Some guy tried to punch you in a grocery store line and tripped so hard he dislocated his own jaw on a soup can. And Ghiaccio just laughed. A real, unhinged, belly-deep laugh.

He threw an arm around you and said, “Alright, you’re staying with me forever. No arguments. I’m keeping my nature-loving death-angel right next to me.”

Melone

Melone was obsessed. From the moment he saw you picking dandelions and talking about ants, he was hooked. And when he realized people who threatened you ended up in freak accidents? He was practically frothing.

He called you “my divine accident machine” and “il mio angelo vendicativo.”

You told him you didn’t want to hurt anyone, that it was automatic. “I get scared… and Wonder of U just protects me. I don’t want anyone to die.”

Melone cupped your cheeks, beaming. “Oh, that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. You don’t want to kill, but death follows you like a loyal pet.”

He takes you everywhere. Calls you his guardian. Treats you like the greatest experiment he never had to build.

Formaggio

Formaggio loves that you’re not mafia. You ground him. While he’s chasing people down, you’re watering plants and inviting him on nature walks. He thought he’d have to lie to keep you out of danger- until some guy tried to approach you in a bar and the guy instantly exploded through a freak wiring accident.

Formaggio sat there watching the guy fry to death while you hummed and played with the ice in your glass.

You told him about your Stand, eyes nervous. “Basically…my Stand stepped in.”

He grinned, “...you’re better than life insurance.” Then he kissed your cheek.

Illuso

Illuso was the most skeptical. Pretty girl in the park? Too soft. Probably bait. But when you saved his ass three times in a row- without lifting a finger- he started to pay attention.

He cornered you, “you’ve been following me.”

You blinked. “No, I just… wanted to give you this flower crown.”

He was halfway to mocking you when a brick randomly fell from a rooftop and crushed a guy tailing you. You didn’t even flinch.

“…The hell was that?”

Bruno Bucciarati

You catch him mid-strategy, arms crossed as he discusses plans in that calm, focused tone of his. You suddenly wrap your arms around him in a firm, unexpected hug. He freezes — surprised more by the timing than the gesture itself.

After a moment, his body relaxes, and he gently pats your back.

“…You scared me for a second,” he says with a soft chuckle, voice low and comforting. “But… thank you. I needed that more than I realized.”

He doesn’t hug back tightly, but he doesn’t pull away either. He understands, even without a word.

Leone Abbacchio

He’s sitting off to the side, arms draped across his knees, scowling into the distance as usual. You approach quietly and hug him without warning.

His entire body tenses like you just threw cold water on him. “What the hell are you—” he starts, twisting slightly in irritation.

But then you don’t let go. You just stay there, holding him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He exhales — long and slow.

“…Tch. Don’t get used to this,” he mutters, eyes flicking away. But he doesn’t move. Maybe, just maybe, there’s the faintest shift in how he leans into it.

Guido Mista

He’s joking around, probably teasing Narancia or balancing a bullet on his finger when you suddenly squeeze him tight.

“Oh?! Hey hey hey!” He grins, startled but amused. “What’s all this about?”

His first instinct is to laugh it off, but then he hears how deep you sigh against his shoulder.

“Oh,” he says again, softer this time.

He hugs you back with one arm, a bit lopsided but firm, patting your back in a rhythm that’s almost musical.

“You’re lucky I’m irresistible,” he jokes, but his voice is warm. “Anytime, capisce?”

Giorno Giovanna

He’s organizing something — his mind always working. You step in and hug him tight, and he stiffens like you short-circuited his brain.

His arms hover awkwardly for a second, unsure of what to do. “Ah… are you alright?”

But as he feels the sincerity of your grip, he gently wraps his arms around you in return, polite but heartfelt.

“I may not always say it,” he murmurs, “but I’m glad you feel safe enough to do this.”

He doesn’t let go until you do.

Narancia Ghirga

He yelps. Like, full-on jumps a little. “Wha—?! Whoa, hey!!”

But once he realizes it’s you and it’s just a hug, he breaks into a huge grin. “Sheesh, you scared me! Thought it was an enemy Stand or somethin!”

Still, he beams and immediately returns the hug, arms wrapped tight and fast. He holds on like he’s afraid you’ll vanish.

“You’re so weird sometimes, y’know that?” he says, but he’s laughing. “But I like it. Do it again sometime.”

Pannacotta Fugo

You catch him reading or lost in thought — which is dangerous, because sudden contact triggers that split-second panic reflex.

He jumps, pushing back instinctively. “What are you doing?!”

But once he sees it’s you, and that you’re just hugging him — no threat, no reason — the anger that flickered across his face softens.

“…Sorry,” he mumbles, shoulders dropping. “You just caught me off guard.”

He hesitates, then lightly places a hand on your back. “Thanks. I… appreciate it.” His voice is quiet. Earnest.

Trish Una

She’s brushing her hair or adjusting her outfit, probably mid-eye roll at something Mista said, when you suddenly hug her from behind.

“Huh—?!” She jolts, startled, turning slightly to see your face. “Are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

But even as she says it, she doesn’t pull away. Her arms don’t move at first, unsure.

Then slowly — very slowly — she rests a hand on your arm and lets out a breath.

“…You’re lucky I like you,” she says with mock annoyance. “But… I guess I don’t mind.”

Ryusui: pampers. The man is treating you like royalty. But not before he gives you some sort of inspiring or emotional speech. No matter if it comes out harsh or corny sometimes, it always leaves you feeling the slightest bit lighter.

He’s distressed by this habit of yours of course, and it’s evident in his face that he’s biting back on a comment when it’s addressed. He doesn’t mean any harm or to be overbearing, and he never is. He’s not one to pressure or guilt you, he knows better than that.

He tends to intervene sometimes however, occasionally overstepping with good intention. He’d much rather have you safe and angry at him over anything else if he does tend to overstep. In general however, he just wants to look out for you and help you cope safely. 

Cue all the pampering that comes in. Cue all the projects he immerses you in to keep you busy, hands and mind preoccupied with his endless amount of enthusiasm and constant new interests because he knows from experience that working away on something has always made him feel good. Besides, it occupies his mind for weeks. He’s always thinking of you and ways to uplift you- it’s how he’s always been with you. 

He knows he can hire the best of the best medical staff to assist in helping break this habit, but he mostly has that group of staff train him to help assist you, because he knows going to other people can be stressful and difficult and he hopes he can be someone you lean on during those vulnerable moments to carefully take care of you and your wounds. 

Say the word, and he’ll buy you the world to help lessen the pain in your heart. 

Xeno: encourages medical help. He’s a scientist and an astronaut after all. He’s undergone medical training himself, and he knows quite a bit about psychology. He uses both in an attempt to try to help ease your mind and your pain. 

The very first thing he’ll suggest is seeking medical assistance. He’s a man of science, of course, and science can help you recover. But going for help isn’t easy, especially if you don’t have the means to do it. So he always makes sure to remind you that his services are open any time you need them.

He’s treating your wounds the moment they appear, and encourages you to at least see him regarding the issue. He never gets upset if you don’t, because he knows these kind of things are sensitive and hard to deal with, but he’ll always do his best to remind you in subtle and non-invasive ways that he was a person you could trust, and that he wasn’t going to shame you or let anyone else shame you.

He’ll check up on you from time to time, but won’t press for any details or emotional chats. Like Senku, Xeno is a man mainly of action, and he has good observational skills. He also does his best to try and minimize the damage before it can grow into something dangerous.

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Shadow is so extremely overprotective of you, borderline to an unhealthy agree but is it really when you're welcoming to it??

You, by all means, shouldn't encourage him. He's one of the strongest beings on the planet. He can't just make threats, God knows if he'll act out on them.

You can't help but let it happen though, a warm fuzzy feeling deep in your chest clouds your judgment for a few moments. Knowing that Shadow sees you as someone worth protecting, of caring for.

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Shadow baring his fangs at Sonic and fucking growling is new though.

"Shadow did you just- did you just fucking growl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sonic was just trying to hug me dude, relax.'

"He'll get his scent all over you. No."

Shadow turns his back on you, so he misses the blush that overtakes your entire face.

He has an inkling though, if the strangled cry from your throat is any indication.

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Riding ! With ! Him !!! He takes you on drives all the time, it helps him clear his head and it's his way of asking for physical contact without giving you idea, feeling you against his back and your body pressed up against his does wonder for his mental health, he'll purposefully take longer routes and side roads at night to keep you close.

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If you fall asleep on the couch, Shadow isn't gonna curl up with you, but he's next to the couch, head propped up against the arm rest as he watches over you. He's well aware he could just teleport you both to your room, but you look too peaceful :( and he knows he takes up all your time and energy, so he rather let you rest.

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Shadow always walks behind you. It's a nervous habit. If he wanders behind, he has the perfect view to scan for threats.

You go to tell him he's being paranoid, but stop yourself. The last person he cared for died, the girl who gave him a purpose. You shut your joke down fast, shaking your head when Shadow raises an eye bridge at your expression.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" You go with that instead.

"Absolutely not."

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Please god can you imagine shopping for him, getting his leather jackets and what not bc he fucking deserves it, especially when you nervously claim that he needs the correct gear for riding his motorcycle and he hits you with:

"That's useless, I can easily chaos control if need be."

BUT HE DOESN'T RIDE WITHOUT IT EVER !!!! You even got it monogrammed, and he runs his thumb across it often, scoffing at himself when he realizes, snatching his hand away.

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Shadow likes to be useful, even though you tell him again and again that he doesn't owe you anything, he doesn't listen.

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If you wear makeup and ever fall asleep in it, you can't ever seem to remember if it was you who took it off, your memories jumbling up together to the point you're not sure.

It was Shadow, he knows you don't like showing others your bare face, which he thinks is ridiculous as shit, he likes you as you are, whether with makeup or bare, you're you.

Please I could cry imagining him so gently taking a makeup wipe and rubbing small circles to get that waterproof eyeliner off of you, eyes laser focused into his task. I'm gonna throw up.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

In the colder months, he's susceptible to being more mellow and relaxed. Despite being the ultimate life form and having fur, he still gets cold and hates the feeling.

This brings me to the fact that bro steals your blankets, he has no remorse and will walk right into your room to take your heated blanket. He's an asshole.

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Fully believes that nicknames are stupid and that they don't matter, the best he's gonna do for you is call you by your first Intial (ex: Teddy = T) It's rare that he'll do call you by it regardless, but beggers cannot be choosers.

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Getting matching bangles to match his inhibitor rings!! Makes him go stupid for a second, brain computing that oh??? You want to match him?? He's gonna tease you, but when you threaten to just take them off, he immediately goes quiet.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The subject of being sick came up often in asks, and he struggles really hard with it. It's not obvious, but if you look closely, his quills are pin straight, and he's easily more agitated.

He's not mad at you, it's not your fault, it's just that seeing you curl up into bed brings back so many bad memories of when Maria has flare ups and couldn't leave her bed.

It made him feel useless. His whole reason for being was to help cure illness, maybe not the common cold. He's aware of that, but the point remains.

Shadow gets more docile, even going to ask Maddie what to do. The woman offers to come over and take care of you instead, but Shadow shuts her down quickly. He's more than capable, and he's a little overprotective.

"Are you sure? I don't mind, I don't have anything going on."

"That isn't necessary."

"But it might be better if it's m-"

"I can take care of them."

It's hard to argue with a 5ft hedgehog that can easily snap your neck, so she regents and hands him over some cold and flu medicine along with painkillers and vaporub and instructions. He looks so silly with all of it in his arms, Gatorade, water, the medicine, some food, but it warms your heart. You haven't had anyone really look after you when you were sick, always left to fend for yourself, so it's nice.

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For my period havers, I am on mine, so this made it in:

Shadow using his hands as personal heating pads for your stomach or the small of your back, you can't seem to remember where you put your heating pad so he sits there with you and just, shoves his hand onto your skin, it's added comfort due to his fur.

"Oh my god, that feels good."

You groan into your pillow, curling up into a ball, your back facing the ultimate lifeform.

"Is it really that bad?"

Shadow hums, moving to ever so slightly knead the skin, smirking to himself when you damn near moan at the feeling.

"You know damn fucking well it's that bad."

Shadow snorts.

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Once you're both closer, he allows you to touch him alot more, so long as you ask him first if you can run your fingers over his quills, he finds it soothing, it's common to find you both on the couch, fast asleep together with the TV set to come true crime YouTube video.

Sonic takes a million pictures, to which he sends to Shadow later. The black hedgehog doesn't say anything, but he secretly saves each one.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Speaking of the others, you try and force him to spend time with team Sonic to varying degrees of success. Mainly the success being if you will also be there and be by his side. The team likes you well enough, always playfully telling you that they can handle Shadow if he ever hurts you.

Which gets them Shadow staring them down, his eyes lighting up as a warning.

You'd think they'd learn that this man doesn't play when it comes to you, but they're a bit stupid.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

When it comes to any insecurities you may have, he shuts that shit down IMMEDIATELY, you think it's because he genuinely doesn't give a fuck, but no, it's because he cares about you and will logically tell you facts. Does it help? It's varying, but he still tries.

Issue with your weight. He doesn't care. Are you healthy? That's all that matters. He's strong enough to lift you up, and he'll demonstrate it on you if need be. He doesn't know who put it into your head that there's any issue with it, but he'll fix it.

"Shadow, can I ask you something?"

"Go on."

"Does my weight ever bother you?"

"I am not like human men."

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You're insecure about talking about your interests/hyperfixations? He actively will sit down and listen, eyes intense as he takes in every single word you're saying. He'll nod and hum, but his ears are flicked towards you, and Shadow will ask questions pertaining about the characters.

The motherfucker is healing you slowly but surely, mentally and sometimes physically.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

No one thinks that Shadow would be a good companion and will make jokes offhandily that they're sorry that YOU'RE stuck with him, and you don't correct them. They don't deserve to know him.

They don't get to know how the lifeform curls up next to you on his bad days, seeking your affection.

The hedgehog who helps you dry the dishes after every meal with a way too focused look on his face.

The Shadow that always cracks dry ass jokes in hopes to make you smile after a long day.

It's your little secret, and it's one you gladly keep to yourself.

"Oh, he's stuck with me." You wave them off with a smug smirk on your face.

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