Bitch, I’m Adorable

being anticapitalist with a strong work ethic is so fucking embarrassing like my managers don't deserve this

shaking my head while working overtime to clarify I disapprove of the situation

fucked up that we got 2024 on monday

I tried to slip CBD gummies into some kids halloween candy like i saw on the news but the kids recognized them and laughed at me for not having any real weed

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

everybody shut up about clubs i dont care

-- caveman about to invent the spear

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

me trying to be an active listener: YES no exactly right right right FOR REALLL yeah totally no literally! yeah for sure

she let me hit it cause her whole existence is flawed

i get her closer to god 😏

listen to Nine Inch Nails dude. it'll blow your cottagecore-ass mind

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i’m on vacation