“i wonder? i wonder?”

and it’s getting tiring to constantly have to stroke my own head and reassure myself it’s gonna be okay because i need. evidence. i need approval.

“don’t try to put too much labels on yourself” reiterated to -> “don’t try to over diagnose yourself, what’s the point of looking if you’re working fine? everyone probably has something not diagnosed but-“, becsuse i’m not doing fine!!!!!!!!!!!! yes yes my depression yes yes it can overlap with a lot of other things -_- but when it’s been a constant pattern since childhood?

i feel like i didn’t really have depression as a child so wtf was it? i’m seeking answers because obviously the feelings are flourishing into shit that’s hard for me to control, Today. you’re making such bold statements about me when i feel you barely know me? we’ve only been working for about two? months? and you missed like fucking three or four appointments with me? i’m just. 💥 irritated!

yes i get that people try to diagnose themselves with whatever-the-fuck because it’s like a hot new internet trend. and yes of course i get those thoughts of “what-if?” but it never goes much deeper than that because i recognize there’s not enough concrete evidence to back me up! im just!!!!!!!!!!