I'm a troubleshooter.

Obligatory new pinned post.

”Eat a salad take a shit and die” is peak apocalypse capitalism

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

I had to explain to my roommate that a mile uphill or on a twisting trail is the same distance as a mile on flat or straight ground. I still don’t think she believes me.

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

The Reblog (2014)

Bahahahaha love this

The Unnecessary Comment (2014)

The Revival (2026)

The “The original?!” (2026)

This is the worst joke I’ve seen and I am crying

you fucking suck at burger

Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more

No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges

There’s something truly exquisite about stories where the real tragedy is the price you paid to stand on top of the world

Hollow victories … sacrificing your humanity on the altar of what you perceive to be the greater good … the loneliness of godhood … regret for the person you used to be … the realisation that there is no way back … *chef’s kiss*