You Used Call Me On My Cell Phone

Katara: I’ve done as much as I can for the lightning wound, but it’s gonna leave a scar, sorry Zuko

One of my favorite things about Phineas and Ferb is how Perry somehow comes off as a more talkative character than Ferb, even though Ferb talks once or twice an episode and Perry talks never. Perry is so visually expressive you can almost forget that the secret agent subplot in each show pretty much consists of Dan Povenmire as Doofenshmirtz monologuing to himself; every one of those scenes reads visually as a complicated back-and-forth conversation between two very different characters with strong, stubborn personalties. At any given moment, you can tell exactly what Perry the Platypus is thinking and what he would say if he could, which not only makes him the ideal figure to react to the endless ranting of his nemesis but also gives Doofenshmirtz something solid to react to (when he says a line like “Perry the Platypus, you’re making this harder than it needs to be,” we know he has good reason to say it). 

The two greatest tragedies in Hamlet were that Horatio, the most obviously gay-and-in-love guy ever, just had to fall for the one person oblivious enough not to fully pick up on it until it was too late, and that Ophelia - who could have gotten any lesbian in Denmark, if not the world - was living in a palace with 1 other woman who also happened to be the queen, straight, and married :/

Aliens are the least of our worries right now but listen to me. Aliens don’t want to hurt us but the government is gonna convince us they do and incite worldwide panic and start a real space war to avoid advancing technology for the general population because efficient non oil based energy that the aliens have will crush the capitalist industries that need it to thrive welcome to my ted talk

usa: *steals half of Mexico*

me: i am so stupid… genuinely illiterate. i am the dumbest bitch alive

yes babe, the heelys are off this time I promise, please come back to bed

me: accidentally hits my lock screen button while watching youtube