Trash™

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

gonna be real i thought this was just about normal microwaves

a well written story has no one correct interpretation

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

turn up the harpsichord i cant hear the harpsichord

oh god i just realized ive been posting on corporeal tumblr this whole time 🤦

Oh! I thought you just lost your login and decided to just stay on corporeal instead.

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I love tumblr. I fucking love tumblr. Where else am I going to find shit like this