The Thick of MACUSA

Newt: It’s like he’s been to the vet and had his knackers done. 

(The Thick of It: Season 3, Episode 8) 

Piquery: Have you seen this? Graves: No, I haven't seen that. I'm the head security guy for the Magical Congress of the United States of America. No, I don't read the newspapers. That's fucking news to me!

Credence: I always forget, were you the forced abortion or the love child? Or the one who asphyxiated himself with a kiwi? Henry Shaw Jr: Just the love child. I was the quiet one.

Henry Shaw Senior: I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide.

Graves: I don't like finding out about people employed by this government via the news unless they’ve just died. 

Graves: Has anybody seen Credence? Tina: Why, have you lost him? Newt: Oh, don’t tell me he’s gone feral, ‘cause he was fucking terrifying when you had him on the leash! Graves: Let’s not overreact. Newt: Easy for you to say, he threatened to shove an iPod up my cock! Graves: But you get that a lot, though, don’t you?

Graves: Okay. Firstly don’t raise your voice. This is a sacred place. Now, you may not believe that and I may not believe that but, by God, it’s a useful hypocrisy.

Dumbledore: OK. Your phone is off, but there’s been a catastrofuck here. Someone’s leaked Tina Goldstein’s PWIP PIP paper to the BBC… ...That is going to fucking fist your ICW vote to death. Right. Missing you loads. PWIP PIP toodle-oo.

Graves: I just wanted to say to you, by way of introductory remarks, that I am extremely miffed about today's events and, in my quest to try and make you understand the level of my unhappiness, I'm likely to use an awful lot of what we would call "Violent Sexual Imagery", and I just wanted to check that neither of you would be terribly offended by that.