I love when you look up something like "can dogs eat broccoli" and the results are like "no, they will die a violent gruesome death if you replace their entire diet with broccoli, you cannot feed your dog exclusively with broccoli you monster. But as a treat they can have some"

okay one time i worked at this natural winery which meant our wines weren’t filtered or anything. all about back to the land and soil or some shit. so picture this: you’re freshly 21 years old working a farmers market in the richest part of seattle by yourself. this very nice, very fancy lady comes up to the booth. ‘um, i need to return this bottle of wine because there’s a wasp in it.’ she hands you the bottle. you look inside. boom. big ass fuckin wasp floating in there. deer in headlights moment. wtf do i do now that my boss sold this lady wasp wine. you swap out the bottle and give her a free hummus too as an apology. so then you text your boss super worried ‘hey someone came back to return a bottle with a wasp in it.’ and he replies going ‘ha ha wasp wine. the sediment in all of them is actually dissolved wasp.’ no concern no nothin. hello????? likeee he was actually hyped to be the wasp in your wine guy

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

having a belly outline while wearing a dress is a very beautiful and sexy accessory. anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is getting put in the shredder

Fag hags can say it. Can say their name

“It’s clearly fetish content” YAY!!!!!

Whatever your political beliefs, I think we can all agree that that episode of Steven Universe where Pearl calls Charlie Kirk “a martyr on the level of the sacrificed Messiah whose memory shall stand in the annals of time as among those of the greatest of men” was NOT okay

cute first date ideas: hand-to-hand combat

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane