Untitled

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

Dick: Are we thinking the same thing?

Jason: I genuinely don't know, because I'm currently thinking about hot pockets for some reason.

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*Guttural squelching and trumpeting noises coming from the boy's bathroom*

Barbara, walking past: What is happening in there???

Tim: Uh........circumcision.

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Bruce: No Jason, you can't kill anyone.

Jason: He won't let me kill anybody, and I wanna kill somebody because he won't let me have trauma and I want trauma!!!

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(Before leaving for a business trip)

Tim: Can I bring Kon with us?

Bruce: If he can fit in your suitcase, then sure.

Kon: I'm not that short!!

Jason: We can make him that short.

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Random Gothamite at a gala: I've never been to a funeral before.

Jason, appearing out of nowhere: I have. It was kinda funny.

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Dick: The birds and the bees. When two people over each other—

Damian: I love my mother.

Jason: I love your mother.

Damian: You are having intercourse with my mother?!?!?

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Damian: I don't know much about marine life.

Tim: They don't know much about you either.

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Superman: You are following in your father's footsteps.

Jason: I'm going to jail??

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Damian: You all are slow.

Jason, in a reproachful tone: Nice words, Damian.

Tim: Says you.

Jason: SHUT UP. YOUR OPINION IS INVALID.

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*Tim and Damian passionately beating up a random goon*

Dick: Aww look, they're bonding!

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Steph: I don't think of Tim as a brunette. He gives...bald. Y'know, prison convict?

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Bruce, finishing up a mission briefing: Tim, do you have any questions?

Tim, sleep deprived: Tim, what is a question?

Bruce: I'm asking you???

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Damian: Stop. Stop existing.

You don't need no education, you need guns.-Jason 

I didn’t say I’m not gay! WAIT! NO! I mean I… I’m not… gay in public! NO!!!!!! I’M NOT GAY AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-Dick

Babies come from storks don’t you know? -Bruce

↓

*awestruck* It’s like skip-the-dishes but with babies! -Tim

Jason, I was watching you sleep! -Tim

I’m Damian’s emotional support animal-Dick

Bruce, do any of us appear in your dreams? -Steph

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No actually, surprisingly not. -Bruce

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Dreams? No. Nightmares? Yes. -Tim 

I’m Egyptian, I walk like an Egyptian, but I remember how one day I will have my old little four children living in not a nation where they will not not be judged. -Tim

There are at least 800 other Chinese people who can speak fluent Latin and throw cards!-Dick, in the heat of an argument.

Someone will put you in a stew one day, Bruce -Jason

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Just like his daughter!!! -Dick

I stand before you today, not to discombobulate you or yitter-yatter or gut you, but to treat you like five year-olds. -Tim, at a board meeting

But does a description of a thing hold the same power? Listen, I was called Marshmallow for 4 years of my life. -Tim, heavily sleep deprived

He’s psychotic - he’ll pull off his pants and make a quick escape! -Jason, arguing about containing Damian.

• Almost everyone is neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, or both.

• You can post almost anything and someone will know what you mean.

• People respond quickly and continuously.(not all people but enough)

• There are unspoken rules that actually make sense.

• Everybody is nice and understanding.

damian: ...what

bruce: sorry i mean jason,wait no, dick. uhm Stephanie, i mean tim, no wait duke. alfred? no uhm barbara. wait ace.

damian:thats our dog father

bruce:alfred pennyworth the cat?

damian:

bruce: damian, i mean damian.

damian: leaves.

bonus!!:

bruce whos been awake for 56 hours: cass can you pass me the case file?