it's creepy AND wet

Currently boiling Three count em Three baby carrots to feed my bugs because one person on reddit said their bugs liked that 👍

USING A HITACHI WAND TO JERK OFF IN YOUR 20'S: lol "back massager" yeah right they knew what this was really gonna be used for USING A HITACHI WAND ON YOUR BACK AFTER AN 8-HOUR SHIFT IN YOUR 30'S: ooo heaven is a place on my spine

in charcuterie city, you'll always be cheesed to meet your friends

I hate charcuterie city I want to go somewhere else

this is all that's left.

this is all that's left.

you don’t need to reinvent yourself this summer; you simply need to return to the things that make you feel most like you

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.