the heart may freeze, or it can burn

Don’t ever back me into a corner expecting me to break.

1. sometimes doing the right thing is forgoing that jar of candy in favor of a train ride. sometimes doing the right thing is giving your best friend’s shawl to the homeless woman on the street. sometimes doing the right thing is denying yourself the things you want. 2. put your lip balm on his mouth so he tastes like you. tell him that but don’t kiss him. honey on his tongue. his heart is wishbone. he loves you like a drowning man loves a lifeboat. 3. watch the clock every time you’re together. the bad guy here is your big, fat mouth. anxiety is a livid bruiser spray-painting it wasn’t the right time across your eyelids. 4. all of the following are true: a) you love him. b) he loves you. c) you just aren’t ready to be loved like this. 5. so do the right thing & admit it. tell him you’ll never be ready.

I don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth

And when we kissed one another for the first time I could swear I heard our souls whisper ever so quietly, ‘Welcome home.’

I tried to find words to describe just how much it hurts, but your absence, the silence says it all.

*me at my bachelors party*

Do you remember like I remember? Does your body ache like mine does? Where mine does? Did you keep the presents I spent weeks carefully choosing? Are they next to the “Do Not Enter” sign hanging over your heart? Do you hold on tight to the memories, forgetting that they are mine too?