There’s “word salad,” and then there’s dumping the bowl into a giant fan and blowing salad all over the wall. 

I’m sure of it.

Penguins with People Problems - get the book!

Me right now.

Happy World Penguin Day

Purple Rain

Congratulations to Lin-Manuel Miranda on the Pulitzer Prize! 

Anxiety symptoms include: Losing two hours of sleep to the thought, “One day, Elton John will die.”

Well then. She’s going to need a random penguin, isn’t she? 

One day I will remember not to wear lipstick when I go to the dentist. Today is not that day.

#penguinswithbunnyproblems

When you’re a germaphobe taking care of a sick loved one like, “Aww -- there, there. What can I bring you? How can I help? NUH-UH NOT A HUG STEP BACK 10 FEET RIGHT NOW DON’T MAKE ME PUT YOU DOWN.”

A fun way to respond when someone says, “You can’t do that,” is, I JUST DID.

Have you voted yet? Hurry! It matters. 

So I’ll just be over here questioning everything I’ve ever known about myself.