Power To The Local Dreamer

got my lab results back turns out i’m full of rage because i am full of grief

Not that there's anything wrong with having something wrong with you

im really in a bad place i hope the sun doesnt start setting crazy early at like 4pm. i said i hope the sun doesnt set early at like 4pm that would be bad for me

One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

the goal for this year and for every year is to be kind and also to stop being scared of literally everything

its incredibly funny to me that the rest of the internet thinks tumblr is some sort of internet deadzone but every reference they make can be traced back to this website somehow. they dont think they’re quoting a tumblr post from 2011 but they are. they think they came up with goncharov but don’t know it started with a fucking shoe

adhd is so funny it's like being possessed but with myself

today we are closer than ever to making this canon

blocked someone for having "strong opinions" on how much they hate tofu . she isnt a joke to me thats my fucking wife youre talking about

the entire point of life is to be silly, kind, and really weird btw.

let’s settle this shit but do NOT reblog if you’re gonna be modest about it like a little BITCH. anyway privilege check tell me which ones apply to you: hot, funny, can dance, can do math, can spell, can drive, can cook

the night is still young. i can do yoga and use my oil pastels. i can cut another fruit. i can write in my journal. i can make a poem. i can invite the figure outside my window in