beep boop murp

give em the ol’ razzle dazzle

Shalina speaks my soul. 

dagoth ur

sometimes it’s annoying when your character can’t jump in a video game but how often do you jump in real life?

“Do you even remember the last time you jumped?” is a question I never anticipated leaving me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

orange juice is the superior beverage bc it makes ur tongue feel like u ate a bunch of ants which reminds me of my childhood when I would put ants in my mouth and eat em except this time it tastes good too

Hey op I think you’re probably allergic to citrus?

is. this not what oj is supposed to make ur tongue feel like

Did you know that if your mouth itches when you eat kiwis, it is not from hairs left over on the fruit after you peel it? I didn’t until I was about 26 or so!

Confusingly, pineapple is supposed to feel like that, the damn thing is attempting to digest you right back.