Voulez-vous mon chapeau?

So it’s Flu Season again, and this recipe for Tea To Fix What Ails You was given to me by a Christian friend, and I’ve taken to calling it JESUS TEA due to it’s miraculous properties.  Even though it, technically, contains no tea.  This tea is as caffinie-free as anything processed in a US plant can get, but be sure to check the provenance and all ingredients in case of allergies.

You will Need:

A Bigass Pot, becuase this is something you make in large quantities

working stovetop

those lil cloth sachets you use for wassail/empty teabags/those lil reuseable loose-leaf tea steepers.

Recipe:

about a quart of water

1 cup apple cider

about half a lemon’s worth of juice

a shitwhack of honey- try to get as local as possible and generally the less-processed the better if you want to build a resistance to local allergens. If you have allergy concerns or don’t like the taste of honey, go ahead and use more processed stuff/another sweetener instead.

three tablespoons/three bags chamomile tea

three tablespoons/three bags rooibos tea

teaspoon crushed cloves

1 cinnamon stick (more if you like it spicier)

¼ tsp nutmeg

1/8 tsp cayenne or white pepper

Bring water to a simmer in the pot.  Add the chamomile, rooibos and spices to steep about 4-5 minutes or longer if you like tea-flavored tar which given you have the flu you probably do.  Add Cider, Lemon Juice and Honey until dissolved.  Drink all of this in the course of an hour to stay hydrated, make more pots as needed or until you pass out. 

I also calculated a single serving version, which I’m putting here in case anyone wants to make it that way:

1 cup hot water

¼ cup apple cider (or more, I prefer 1/3 cup)

1 tbsp honey (or more, to taste)

a dash of lemon juice

½ tsp spice mixture

1 ½ tbsp tea mixture

Mix the spices together in one container, and mix the two kinds of tea together in another. Measure out of these the above amounts. (Don’t try to store the two things together, the spices will sink to the bottom and you won’t get the right measurements.)

Use a tea infuser/tea bag/cheesecloth/whatever to keep the herb bits from floating off into your drink. Steep for the usual 4-5 minutes, then add the cider, honey, and lemon.

that, is a “Shitwhack”

An Exotic Dancer Demonstrates That Her Underwear Was Too Large To Have Exposed Herself, After Undercover Police Officers Arrested Her In Florida

Dorothy Counts – The First Black Girl To Attend An All-White School In The United States – Being Teased And Taunted By Her White Male Peers At Charlotte’s Harry Harding High School, 1957

Austrian Boy Receives New Shoes During WWII

Jewish Prisoners After Being Liberated From A Death Train, 1945

The Graves Of A Catholic Woman And Her Protestant Husband, Holland, 1888

A Lone Man Refusing To Do The Nazi Salute, 1936

Job Hunting In 1930’s

German Soldiers React To Footage Of Concentration Camps, 1945

Residents Of West Berlin Show Children To Their Grandparents Who Reside On The Eastern Side, 1961

Acrobats Balance On Top Of The Empire State Building, 1934

Mafia Boss Joe Masseria Lays Dead On A Brooklyn Restaurant Floor Holding The Ace Of Spades, 1931

Lesbian Couple At Le Monocle, Paris, 1932

The Most Beautiful Suicide – Evelyn Mchale Leapt To Her Death From The Empire State Building, 1947

The Remains Of The Astronaut Vladimir Komarov, A Man Who Fell From Space, 1967

Race Organizers Attempt To Stop Kathrine Switzer From Competing In The Boston Marathon. She Became The First Woman To Finish The Race, 1967

Harold Whittles Hearing Sound For The First Time, 1974

In the olden days, if footage was not used in a film, it was either destroyed or erased so they could reuse the reel, because it was cheaper than storing unused film.

I mean

look at this boi

come on

how

here he is as Mr. Darcy (that’s right)

how

HOW

and hell here’s a bonus pic of him in his 50s

because LOOK AT THIS SHIT

Krennic was so outclassed by Tarkin, he deserves props for actually trying to fight and win, and even outwitting him in Catalyst, that was impressive.

A brief comparison:

Krennic, age 15: enters Brentaal Futures Program

Tarkin, age 15: frequent trips to Carrion Plateau, lessons of survival in savage wilderness where anything could kill you as a part of family tradition, hunting animals and eating their raw organs

Krennic: uses delta shuttle model that’s out of production for aesthetic

Tarkin: his personal ship, Carrion Spike, was based on a prototype stealth corvette and designed specifically for Tarkin and with his input

Krennic: gets choked

Tarkin: holds Vader’s leash

Krennic: his lifetime dream is to get an audience with Palpatine

Yes, it’s a bit like a religious experience right now for us Cushing fans…

While Guy Henry did a pretty decent job bringing Tarkin back to life, one still might want to imagine how Cushing would have chosen to deliver Tarkin’s lines in Rogue One.