Got that pussy that tastes like McDonald's sprite
which one of you cowards just unfollowed me

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@notbrianna
Got that pussy that tastes like McDonald's sprite
which one of you cowards just unfollowed me

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Shane (to the Rookies): When Ilya and I were your age… I can’t tell that story. It’s wildly inappropriate.
suspicious…
there are apparently a lot of mushrooms that are poisonous to some people and edible for others. unlike food allergies, it’s not an allergic immune reaction, it’s mushroom poisoning but only for some people
edibility is FAFO
(cartoon Dennis Goris)
These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"
And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"

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the authors open fetish that complements the themes of their work
important plot device thats also just authors fetish. call that a jackoffs gun
so the synopsis of The Ring is: you will die 7 days after watching this videotape. my question is does that apply to rewatching the tape. let's say I watch the tape, wait 6 days, and watch it again. does the timer reset to 7 days? can I do this indefinitely? can I become functionally immortal by watching the evil videotape on a weekly basis?
I require the film where someone decides this means they are functionally immortal for 6 days after watching the tape so seeks it out before going on a series of utterly batshit suicide missions. The tape keeps trying to do creepy crap around them and they're just like "I have 3 days 12 hours left to do this prison break so you're not even on my top 10 concerns, either distract this guard for me or go do something about that hair while you're waiting"
The ghost is so baffled and has no idea how to explain that's not how any of this works that it does save them a couple times while trying to get this across, thus convincing them the theory has been validated
Another one for "objectively funny crimes should not be punished"
media literacy includes understanding why a media product was made, to whom it's being sold, and the assumed preferences of its marketing demographic. narrative is not produced or sold in a vacuum.
you might be totally correct that your ship would be narratively satisfying. I don't know, I'm not watching your show. Whether your ship is likely to happen on the show is a whole different question to whether it's satisfying, because the show is being sold to Netflix or Amazon or the BBC, and they are purchasing a show they think they can market to a particular demographic and that demographic isn't you, the nightmarishly online tumblr user. The show is being made for marketability to a constructed average viewer. It is being funded with that audience in mind. This art is being made to commission, and commissioned art is art, but at some point you have to stop expecting the Church to commission a statue of Lucifer fucking St Michael. It might be narratively satisfying, but that's just not what they're paying for.
the thing about "people have talked about it you're just 21" is that it's not really "young people are stupid" it's more "if you come into an academic discussion you should know what people have said on the matter lest you talk out your ass"

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Twenty-one tons of potatoes are up for grabs at Potato Palooza on Monday.
The nonprofit’s set to receive a donation of 21 tons of tubers this weekend from suppliers in the Midwest. Hoping to get the starchy vegetables to people in need, the nonprofit will host a “Potato Palooza” event on Monday in Park Hill. “Anyone is welcome to come. They can bring tote bags, wagons, you could back up your pickup truck if you wanted to,” Hissong said. The event is 9 a.m. to noon at the Park Hill Food Recovery Hub, 6090 East 39th Avenue, on July 27.
This is the dream
Chapter 56 Thoughts
[You should support the comic's updates if you can! Always be sure to Like it at the end, too! I'm not sure if it tracks click locations, so just copy the link I added as a reply below!]
Folks...This is going to be an AMAZING chapter when it's translated. But, if you're super curious like me and are checking these updates as they happen, you definitely want to know what just happened, right? Well, you could tell from the art, at least! The emotions in this one were drawn SO GOOD...but I'm here to provide the specifics.
I hope you have some tissues. Oh, and just a head's up: I AM going to use "Yuki" and "Totoko" here. Not because they started using them (though that'll be the day, huh~?) but for another reason that you'll soon find out...
got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"
People with the same name who are not the same person
An updated list by someone who clearly isn’t paying attention. Previous realizations include:
Karl and Keith Urban (Karl Urban looks like he could sing country)
Jimmy and Warren Buffet (I just assumed Margaritaville did really well)
Weses Craven and Anderson (what a range on that guy!)
Today I discovered:
Kates Winslet and Hudson (Listening to a Kate Hudson interview today I asked myself, “Isn’t she English?” and had to google her)
And one that I’ve never experienced but I know others have:
HG Wells, Orson Welles, and George Orwell are all different dystopian visionaries.
NEWS ALERT: JOSH GROBAN IS NOT JOSH BROLIN.

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i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!