istg the phandom is unhinged like no fandom I've been in before I feel like I could say "hmmm I wonder how many times dan and phil have each respectively blinked on camera since the start of their careers" and within an hour of me posting it someone would be like "oh actually phanniephreak1 has been keeping count since 2015, here's the link to it" and the information will be perfectly fucking accurate

And you picked that example because it's a real thing right?

oh my fucking god.

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Ba-dum tssss

⚠️sweetiepie located

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

management trying to hire and retain employees