who died and made you the giant rat that makes all of the rules??

insomnia has been performing some processes on me recently to the point where I've had so little sleep over the last few days that I don't even feel tired at this point, I just hauve a mild headache and can feel all my blood

just slept for about ten-and-a-half hours, surely this means I am fixed forever

Danku lesbiennes!

Someday I'm going to have to learn how to actually do my job.

I'll do it if you do my job

You also have to build the flintlock pistol. I should have mentioned that

Fine I'll learn my job (marketing a damn web serial) instead.

I love the implication that the web serial is the only thing keeping you from getting into American Revolutionary War firearms 🤣

Gotta keep the hands busy on something

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

what the dog doin

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

does anyone have that 4chan post about the guy who got like. deradicalised from being an incel because he started taking care of shrimp?

thats the one! thank you!

I think of shrimp guy often and I hope he and his shrimp are doing great and if I ever meet him I would love to ask about them

considering how many times a villain has kidnapped mj and publicly announced ‘spiderman I have the woman you love’ you’d think…..someone would look into her personal life a little?

People do the research and dig up the name Peter Parker and just think “Oh no fuckin way she’d go for that loser.”

they find out he’s the spiderman photographer at the bugle and everyone’s like “oh my God it all makes sense now. the spiderman smear campaign is because he’s banging this guy’s wife”

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

I have had the honor of standing in the exact alley! I even went to the albanach first!