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goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

Gideon in Canaan House

thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed