yikes...

Are you ever ok

NO

i’ve been comprimised 

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

I’ve waited 2 years for this post to hit my dash again. Totes worth it

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

why does the burger king app have quests

Gender nonconforming nipples can stay but your on thin fucking ice

i love the part of growth that allows you to look back on a previous period of your life and recognize that parts of it were unhealthy. something that felt so normal wasn’t in hindsight. you’re not supposed to feel that tired all the time. you’re not supposed to be treated like that.

being an ant would fucking suck. there’s an animal called an anteater, that’s not even like a nickname.

Goddang raven tap dancing on my roof

That IS his job

OH my bad sir please proceed

this my favorite edgar allen poe poem