Half My Fault But I Just Like To Play The Victim

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

congratulations to the only post i've ever had breach 100k notes without any real discourse or fighting, just a lot of people wearily going, oh, god, same

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

Soft apples should be sentenced to death. Girl I trusted you

You bite into an apple and expect a crisp crunch so good and so juicy instead you are met with a wet paper towel. a clump of mud. soft sad meat. my lunch break is ruined

Help, my wife taught our kid to say “wow” in the Owen Wilson voice and now they both won’t stop

Before you continue scrolling, go back and find the other four cows.