damn your love, damn your lies

clickbaitjob from a girl with huge thumbnails

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

also i love when tv shows signify that a new scene is immediately post-sex by cutting to a shot of two characters falling face-up into bed next to each other. it always makes me imagine that for them, sex must have taken the form of levitating supine above the mattress shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the ceiling & not touching or acknowledging each other

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

some of these blorbos don't have tragic enough backstories to justify all that I won't lie

How to tell if the scientist you're talking to is a chemist or an astrophysicist: Ask them if carbon is a metal

Germans completely outdid the english language by calling tv a farseer. They got their orcish shamans to name that shit