Down the Rabbit Hole

Title: The Curious Case of Remus John Lupin Author: ixiedust Reader: @itsaash Pairing: Sirius Black / Remus Lupin Rating: E Length: 1.5 hours

Summary: An ethically questionable medical fic in which unconventional problems require unconventional solutions.

I have a few long projects on the go, so thanks to the mods of the fest for running it so that I had the excuse to do this fun side quest 🥰

Remus, leaning toward Regulus: Are you sure you want that one? We can get you a better one.

cover me with kisses baby (cover me with love)

It’s part of what led to their arrangement in the first place, Sirius had once confided in him towards the end of seventh year that he’d wanked himself raw trying to get off and still hadn’t managed to come, as well as being unable to find a bed partner due to his frankly absurd stamina. That conversation kept playing on a loop in his mind over the next year, through watching Sirius have a string of unsatisfying hookups while constantly requesting that they become flatmates, and when he’d finally given in to saying yes he had offered him a proposition.

Remus would move in with him, and in lieu of rent payments his body was free to use at any time, in any way that Sirius wanted, with a one week trial run to make sure that they were sexually compatible.

It turns out that they are.

the blacks are these really big food critics, like super strict and have unrealistically high standards when it comes to food. think miranda priestly from the devil wears prada but as a food critic.

one day, they visit james's and peter's restaurant (they as in walburga, orion and sirius because reg is still in college studying in culinary school). its this michelin star restaurant with top reviews. and sirius tastes their food and hes like. woah?? this is so cozy and homey and it isnt perfect but he can see why its michelin star??? but walburga and orion with their standards need everything to be perfect. so they're like "c'mon sirius lets get ouuuttt of here bro". long story short sirius visits the next day secretly and he becomes besties with the two.

sirius meets remus and he takes him on their first date to that restaurant because yes.

now regulus tries that restaurant after sirius runs away because sirius wouldnt shut the fuck up about it.

and regulus really wants to hate it but woah. he's having his anton ego (that food critic from ratatouille) moment (yk that moment where the ratatouille changes his life? yep).

so he meets the chef and the chef is really hot and they fuck. (the chef being james because james is the one regulus met)

oh and sybill's a regular customer since day 1 and peter falls in love with her whimsy.