I Am

What is truth and how does this compare or relate to a dare?

One aspect of truth is what exists or what occurs. Therefore, a truth can exist without a dare, but a dare cannot exist without truth.  What makes something true? When an individual refers to something that is true then are they not actually explaining a hope? What then, is it about hope that that convinces us that truth can exist? First let us ask, can hope exist if there is no truth? The two both seem at first glance to actually be mutually exclusive. Hope, therefore is something that stands and does exist on its on. 

Well I am praying with all my heart for you to find me.  Where are you? Why have you not save me yet? Where am I?

I am here and I trust that you are too. I need help and so do you. Tell me then, why has this was not started? Why do I spend so many of my days in fear? Why do I have to be such a rebel? Why is it so hard for me to want to be a part of this oppressive life?

The Truth says that in all things we do pray? Why pray? Have you heard a reply yet? Where is God? Here I am. Why then have we not moved mountains? What is so evil in us or submissive that we are so eager to submit to our authorities?

What is up with professionalism? What is so difficult about the masses realizing that we can be normal and free? You know what I am talking about. We go to work and we are told that we are something that we definitely are not.  We are being told at our jobs to hate ourselves. Really??? This issue has not been dealt with yet?

Has anyone done any research on the free world? if so please drop message me.  I say this because if someone is reading this, you are not alone.  We believe in the same free world.  I repeat, you are not alone!!! The free kingdom is possible!

As of late I have been distracted and seemingly lazy.  My spirit has been stagnant, as if waiting to see if anyone is going to go back to the busy life that we previously had.  Of course I fear this. Who in there sane mind would want to go back to a life that is full of poverty and no hope of getting out of it.  This is why I pray and hope for the resistance.  I pray and hope that we do not go back to the injustices of before and more than ever I trust that we will be much more willing to outwardly fight against the oppression that exists.  The only issue I have experienced is that the fire in my soul needs some oxygen and this fire needs it desperately before it dies.  I know though that the wolf inside is just waiting for the correct moment to attack, but still I grow weary of its quietness.  As too, I hope our opponents are thinking they have also squelched us out.  Let this not be, for the sake of the people are at stake.  Amen.  

Also, as I am sitting here in the darkness of my kitchen typing. As the sky outside appears gloomy and the mood has brought a sad sprinkle to come to the earth.  As I sit in the quietness of the my mother and stepfather’s kitchen table I am thinking of what life would be like if I were free.  What would life be if I were as free as the cardinal perched on the back deck of the house? Would I worry as much? I refuse to believe that I would worry at all.  Why would I not worry? I wouldn’t have to because I would have a right to access everything and anything that I sought my eyes on.  Let us be free again. AMEN.

So what happened this morning? I had an interview with a teaching fellowship in Baltimore, Maryland.  How exciting! Excuse me though, if I struggle with excitement these days.  I am a single male and I quite frankly am done being “professional” and feel so exhausted because of it.  I am sitting here in this quiet house without a job and I could not care more.  This excuse that I should have to get a job is the most unjust excuse we all know to exist.  Instead, I watch people go to work and fake their happiness.  I mean, let us be honest for a few seconds.  Let everyone be honest--we all hate this life.  We are all miserable in this life and are so oppressed that we get exhausted when we face that reality? Why? Why am I supposed to not face the truth?  Why should you tell me that I should fear death, when all most of us want in life is to not exist?  What is wrong with me you ask? I suppose I could have a chemical imbalance. Or maybe I am messed up and am holding onto a truth that is painful.  Maybe everything that you say about me is true. Maybe I am God, maybe I am Satan, maybe I am an angel, or maybe I am a demon.  Maybe I should kill the metaphysical realm and just accept my surroundings or maybe I should be an emotional-less being.  Maybe I should just focus on being and animal, but then death does not matter and I am not subject to any law.  Once again, maybe I am everything I can be and everything I cannot be.  Maybe this explains my issues.  Maybe this explains truth.  Maybe I am free and I am not free.  Maybe I am a mystery waiting to be explored.  Maybe I do live in a world that wants to keep me in chains.  

Is it not sometimes hilarious that you feel like you are the criminal of existence? You know those thoughts that try to convince you that you are indeed the most evil and wrong ideas that are possible? How is it that this can even be true? I mean are you really supposed to just except that you cannot even trust yourself?

Hell no!! Why the fuck would this ever be true? Why would you have a mind and a heart if you could not trust them both? The problem is not a question of trusting the self, but is instead the question of whether or not you can trust your thoughts with other people. 

Our thoughts are trustworthy and the issue is the fact that we know that we are warned to not trust those thoughts. So what do we do with this? What do we do with the fact that we know that we are the enemy of those in power? 

Hello again,

I know it has been a couple of days since my last post, but we all know how life gets sometimes.  Over the past several days I have learned that I am jobless. Why? Because I live in rural Missouri with no place to work.  I went to college, as many of you know, and have student debt.  Here is the dilemma: I do not want to have to work for my money.  It is literal bullshit that people work for businesses that do not provide adequate pay.  I was making $12/hr and I was working 40 hours per week.  I am currently living in my parents basement, because I am not getting paid enough to rent a house.  These are real issues people.  I mean, how can we expect anyone to support an economy if our economy is not free?

On top of all of that, most of our low-end jobs are shit.  What I mean is that your business owners and managers literally treat you as if you are a slave.  This is not okay! Therefore, I have quit my job and have been using my time to try to find a company that can afford my expenses.  The problem with this is that most of these companies want experience and are not willing to train us workers! {THIS IS A SYSTEM OF OPPRESSION} Why are our bosses not talking to their employees and about a solution?  Are they really wanting to help oppress us? Why am I being viewed as lazy when the reality of most of our situations is that we are not getting paid enough to work?  Why is it okay for us to sit at work and not be yelling at our bosses to pay us or fight for us?