The Key Five Library

Are they really convinced that SANSA of all people is the one who’s going to learn from Dany’s/Jon’s/Tyrion’s mistakes and successes and do better??? That’s just another way of saying that she must inherit what’s not hers (in this case, political achievements). That’s why they like to call her “political heiress”, because nothing is actually hers, it wasn’t earned. It never is. It’s like when noobs think she’ll inherit Nymeria because she’s entitled to it for some reason. Jon, Dany and Tyrion went through all the trials of ruling so other character can succeed… offscreen. They really don’t like her story so they need to steal all the accomplishments of other characters.

I was curious which bnf wrote this pure idiocy, googled that line you quoted, read their post and ...

I love how he calls the OG outline as the 'Stink Letter'. Sansa fans hate, hate the leaked outline because it highlighted what a lot of us already knew - that Sansa was not a tier I main character. That she was created to be the one member of the Stark family of dubious loyalty. After the leak, anytime Sansa stans got to interact with GRRM at cons, the question they would always ask is - 'Is Sansa a main character as well? Is Sansa important as well?'

And of course GRRM would say - 'Yes, Sansa is also a main character, Jaime is also a main character, they are all main characters!' He would consider Ned and Catelyn to be his main characters as well.

After all that's what GRRM is famous for - killing off his main characters! That's his shtick. That's what made the TV show famous after Ned Stark was executed at the end of season one and viewers were shocked.

And while he gave Ned, Robb and Catelyn the main character treatment, these characters were always doomed - as the 'Stink Letter' makes clear. In fact all the characters who die in the OG outline end up dying in ASoIaF - which does not bode well for Sansa Stark.

GRRM even touches on this in his leaked OG outline letter (There's a reason he was angry this got leaked!)

The cast will not always remain the same. Old characters will die, and new ones will be introduced. Some of the fatalities will include sympathetic viewpoint characters. I want the reader to feel that no one is ever completely safe, not even the characters who seem to be the heroes. The suspense always ratchets up a notch when you know that any character can die at any time.

Except, as he explains in his letter, there is actually a cast of whom he considers to be his 'central characters (who) will make it through all three volumes, however, growing from children to adults and changing the world and themselves in the process.'

He further writes that at it's core ASoIaF is about these 5 characters

In a sense, my trilogy is almost a generational saga, telling the life stories of these five characters, three men and two women. The five key players are Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, and three of the children of Winterfell, Arya, Bran, and the bastard Jon Snow. All of them are introduced at some length in the chapters you have to hand.

Naturally this was hugely annoying to the stans who thought they were reading A Song of Sansa and Sansa, like the bnf you quoted who actually thinks that Jon, Dany and Tyrion's arc is all about Sansa being a leader.... How do you even write nonsense like that and be considered an Asoiaf expert?!

Only in this fandom can you package such garbage as expert asoiaf meta and have it be swallowed by the wider fandom in the name of neoliberal feminism. Let's celebrate Sansa's unearned path to being a queen - on the back of other characters - because she's a real girl who likes songs and fairy tales! Isn't it wonderful?! Isn't that what the TV show did as well and we got a thousand gifsets of GirlBoss Sansa in a crown as the 'queen who did not bend'.

It's not even like Sansa is there in Jon, Dany and Tyrion's vicinity when they are performing politics. Yes, even Tyrion. Despite them being in KL, Tyrion is not political near Sansa.

It's not like Sansa - who is married to Tyrion - ever says, 'No, I would do this better than Tyrion'. She thinks that way about Cersei and yet when she observes Margaery being much beloved by the people (as opposed to Cersei) she fails to even understand why this is so and why a hungry people would love a leader giving them food.

How will Sansa learn from Jon's 'mistakes'? By not giving a fuck about the Freefolk and Arya and refusing to help her? Well, that's already the status quo where Sansa and Arya are concerned. Since the Freefolk are not highborn and she would consider them to be smelly and savage, she's not going to help them either.

How will Sansa learn from Dany's 'mistakes'? By focusing only on one's personal ambitions and not being involved in abolition campaigns to help the downtrodden? Again, Sansa is way ahead of Dany on this, being entirely selfish in the way she does not give a damn about issues affecting the Smallfolk. Contrast Dany engaging in trade deals and initiating policy for irrigation ditches to bring in water and develop Meereen's agricultural industry with Sansa holding a sumptuous 64 dish feast in a starving Westeros where Winter has come, especially in the North. So yeah, Sansa would not make Dany's 'mistake' of trying to help the little guy.

How will Sansa learn from Tyrion's 'mistakes'? By not making marriage alliances, getting rid of sycophant back stabbers like Slynt, defending his house and family? Again, she already trusts everyone and throws her family under the bus to become queen. She's certainly no Tyrion.

The problem I have with asoiaf bnfs, including the one you quoted, is their pretense that Jon, Dany and Tyrion failed big time because they were bad rulers/commanders/hand of the king instead of acknowledging that the system is set up against these characters from the start and they are fighting an uphill battle.

Tyrion had to work against the prejudice and hatred towards him from the start of his tenure as Hand. No amount of publicity of his good deeds and political campaigns were going to help. Whatever he did, Cersei was always going to hate him, the Tyrells was going to use that to frame him and his abusive father never valued him. His downfall was not because of is mistakes but because of the prejudice and hatred against him from his own family.

And finally from the bnf you quoted:

That’s her meta-arc: from cliche-ridden afterthought to, one day, the best answer to the question “who should rule?” Well done, m'lady.

Arya advocates for women and comments on the injustice that women (and children born out of wedlock) can't inherit both the swords and the arms in Westeros;

Arya values women who take control of their destinies, naming her direwolf after one of them;

Arya fights back against her own father for her right a life that doesn't involve getting married to a man and producing children;

Arya fights for women deemed unimportant by men – she defends Weasel's place when men wanted to abandon her and kills one of the rapists of Layna when men were laughing at the horrific gang rape she endured;

Arya befriends and listens to women from many different walks of life and appreciates their presence, keeping them and their lessons alive in her heart.

… but then somehow he was back at Winterfell again, in the godswood looking down upon his father. Lord Eddard seemed much younger this time. His hair was brown, with no hint of grey in it, his head bowed. “… let them grow up close as brothers, with only love between them,” he prayed, “and let my lady wife find it in her heart to forgive …”

“Father.” Bran’s voice was a whisper in the wind, a rustle in the leaves. “Father, it’s me. It’s Bran. Brandon.”

Eddard Stark lifted his head and looked long at the weirwood, frowning, but he did not speak. He cannot see me, Bran realized, despairing. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but all that he could do was watch and listen. I am in the tree. I am inside the heart tree, looking out of its red eyes, but the weirwood cannot talk, so I can’t. “ - Bran, ADwD

Jon?

The call came from behind him, softer than a whisper, but strong too. Can a shout be silent? He turned his head, searching for his brother, for a glimpse of a lean grey shape moving beneath the trees, but there was nothing, only . .

A weirwood.

It seemed to sprout from solid rock, its pale roots twisting up from a myriad of fissures and hairline cracks. The tree was slender compared to other weirwoods he had seen, no more than a sapling, yet it was growing as he watched, its limbs thickening as they reached for the sky. Wary, he circled the smooth white trunk until he came to the face. Red eyes looked at him. Fierce eyes they were, yet glad to see him. The weirwood had his brother’s face. Had his brother always had three eyes?

Not always, came the silent shout. Not before the crow.

He sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs.

Don’t be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him. - Jon, ACoK

Except in dreams. She took a breath to quiet the howling in her heart, trying to remember more of what she’d dreamt, but most of it had gone already. There had been blood in it, though, and a full moon overhead, and a tree that watched her as she ran. - Mercy , TWoW

Theon wore black and gold, his cloak pinned to his shoulder by a crude iron kraken that a smith in Barrowton had hammered together for him. But under the hood, his hair was white and thin, and his flesh had an old man’s greyish undertone. A Stark at last, he thought.

And in the heart of the wood the weirwood waited with its knowing red eyes. Theon stopped by the edge of the pool and bowed his head before its carved red face. Even here he could hear the drumming, boom DOOM boom DOOM boom DOOM boom DOOM. Like distant thunder, the sound seemed to come from everywhere at once.The night was windless, the snow drifting straight down out of a cold black sky, yet the leaves of the heart tree were rustling his name. "Theon,” they seemed to whisper, “Theon.”

“And what if they do? I’d sooner be stolen by a strong man than be given t’some weakling by my father.”

“You say that, but how can you know? What if you were stolen by someone you hated?”

“He’d have t’ be quick and cunning and brave t’ steal me. So his sons would be strong and smart as well. Why would I hate such a man as that?”

“Maybe he never washes, so he smells as rank as a bear.”

 “Then I’d push him in a stream or throw a bucket o’ water on him. Anyhow, men shouldn’t smell sweet like flowers.”

“What’s wrong with flowers?” - Jon, ASoS

I like how Jon’s first argument against stealing someone vs arranged marriages is ‘But what if they smell bad?’ Love a man who gives importance to good hygiene!!

More importantly apart from the issues of consent at the start, rereading Jon’s ASoS chapters is making me like Jon and Ygritte together. I feel like they make a good parallel to Arya and Gendry (more adult though) in terms of being like a little romcom with their banter. They are also the definition of bittersweet.

“Let’s not go back t’ Styr and Jarl. Let’s go down inside, and join up with Gendel’s children. I don’t ever want t’ leave this cave, Jon Snow. Not ever.” - Jon, ASoS

The poignancy of these chapters are mainly because of Jon’s love for her and his conflict about helping the Watch. Their back and forth arguments and the clash of cultures is interesting to read.

I know one thing. I know that you are wildling to the bone. It was easy to forget that sometimes, when they were laughing together, or kissing. But then one of them would say something, or do something, and he would suddenly be reminded of the wall between their worlds. - Jon, ASoS

I love how GRRM associates ‘You Know Nothing’ with their relationship - this is where Jon starts to understand the Freefolk as people, as human beings instead of seeing them as the enemy. This is where he starts to see both sides

We look up at the same stars, and see such different things. - Jon, ASoS

For example, when they argue about the women being stolen vs given into marriage by their fathers. Ygritte has a point, what’s the difference with Cersei being given into marriage to an abusive rapist like Robert Baratheon and a girl being stolen by the Freefolk? Or Lysa Tully and Jon Arryn? Or Ramsay Bolton and his bride?  Marital rape is a still a thing in Westeros.

“And what if they do? I’d sooner be stolen by a strong man than be given t’some weakling by my father.”

Jon caught her wrist. “What if the man who stole you drank too much?” he insisted. - Robert Baratheon

“What if he was brutal or cruel?” He tightened his grip to make a point. - Robert Baratheon

“What if he was stronger than you, and liked to beat you bloody?”

“I’d cut his throat while he slept. You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Ygritte twisted like an eel and wrenched away from him. - Jon, ASoS

And here is Cersei

The queen’s face was hard and angry. “Would that I could take a sword to their necks myself.” Her voice was starting to slur. “When we were little, Jaime and I were so much alike that even our lord father could not tell us apart. Sometimes as a lark we would dress in each other’s clothes and spend a whole day each as the other. Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. ‘What do I get?’ I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime’s lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood."  - Cersei, AFfC

What Cersei describes here is no different to Jon’s argument against the Freefolk stealing away girls from the North. The one is no better than the other. Of course there’s always Ned and Catelyn as a positive for arranged marriages. But then there’s also Alys Karstark and Sigorn, the Magnar of Thenns.

Even on the chapter where Viserys finally dies, Daenerys continues to be submissive to her older brother until a specific event, which I'll further discuss later. This poor girl is raised only by her abusive brother and is taught that she owes him obedience and loyality because he's the true king and her only relative. What is more, for years he has threaten her that if she disobeys him, she'll "wake the dragon" in him. And by waking the dragon he means that he'll abusive her both emotionally and physically (sometimes even sexually). Viserys has no shame to use abuse towards his little sister when he's in a fool mood and he always let her know that it's her own fault ( as many abusers do with their victims).

Look how Dany reacts when she finds out that Viserys tried to stole her eggs:

For a moment Dany was so shocked she had no words. "My eggs … but they're mine, Magister Illyrio gave them to me, a bride gift, why would Viserys want … they're only stones …"

"The same could be said of rubies and diamonds and fire opals, Princess … and dragon's eggs are rarer by far. Those traders he's been drinking with would sell their own manhoods for even one of those stones, and with all three Viserys could buy as many sellswords as he might need."

Dany had not known, had not even suspected. "Then … he should have them. He does not need to steal them. He had only to ask. He is my brother … and my true king."

She's willing to give away her eggs to her brother if he asks her to. She even try to justify it by saying that he's her brother and her king. This isn't Dany giving away a pretty present she got, she's willing to give away those eggs which brought her comfort when she was at her lowest when she first joined the Dothraki. It shows that there is almost nothing that Dany wouldn't give to Viserys if he asked her no matter how dear it was to her.

Continuing her conversation with Ser Jorah she explains that Viserys is all the family she has left:

"He is your brother," Ser Jorah acknowledged.

"You do not understand, ser," she said. "My mother died giving me birth, and my father and my brother Rhaegar even before that. I would never have known so much as their names if Viserys had not been there to tell me. He was the only one left. The only one. He is all I have."

Poor Dany, for thirteen years she only family she got was an older brother who often abused her.

When Viserys enters Vaes Dothrak and draws his sword - something that is forbidden within the city according to Dothraki laws- Dany tries to make him see reason and even offers him her eggs which she believes that could calm him down. This time she's terrified both of and for him.

"The blade … you must not," she begged him. "Please, Viserys. It is forbidden. Put down the sword and come share my cushions. There's drink, food … is it the dragon's eggs you want? You can have them, only throw away the sword."

However, the moment Viserys threatens her belly with his sword, the narrative stops refering to him as Daenerys' brother. That's because he's no longer threatening only Dany but her unborn baby as well. Her mother instict kicks in and she won't allow Viserys to abuse her child like he did with her. The moment he puts her unborn son in harm while he's threatening her, Viserys crosses the line and there is no turning back. He's no longer her brother or her king daand she feels neither obendiance nor loyalty towards him.

The sword point pushed through her silks and pricked at her navel. Viserys was weeping, she saw; weeping and laughing, both at the same time, this man who had once been her brother.

Viserys keeps being referred as "the man who had been her brother" until his death.

"What did he say?" the man who had been her brother asked her, flinching.

When the sun of her life reached her, Dany slid an arm around his waist. The khal said a word, and his bloodriders leapt forward. Qotho seized the man who had been her brother by the arms

At the last, Viserys looked at her. "Sister, please … Dany, tell them … make them … sweet sister …"

When the gold was half-melted and starting to run, Drogo reached into the flames, snatched out the pot. "Crown!" he roared. "Here. A crown for Cart King!" And upended the pot over the head of the man who had been her brother

She almost sees through Varys' disguise

She hears dead people multiple times

A wolf pack approaches her and decides to leave her be

She gets warning of an attack through her magical connection to Nymeria

The old gods choose to talk to her and help galvanize her into action

A Faceless Man decides to become her death genie and chooses her as an acolyte (something that seems to shock the kindly man and the waif, so it's not common)

Her skinchanging allows her to kill her pursuers and assists in her mother's resurrection

Her skinchanging extends from her direwolf to include a cat without her consciously training in the art

She is a key participant in political moves such as freeing Harrenhall from the Lannisters so the Northmen can take charge and preventing Cersei from fixing the Lannister/Baratheon relationship with the Iron Bank, which has the power to unseat her children

— Daenerys II, A Game of Thrones

He looked up and down the benches at all the faces happy and sad, and wondered who would be missing next year and the year after. He might have cried then, but he couldn’t. [Bran] was the Stark in Winterfell, his father’s son and his brother’s heir, and almost a man grown.

— Bran III, A Clash of Kings

In there she was Arya of Winterfell, the daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn, who had once had brothers named Robb and Bran and Rickon, a sister named Sansa, a direwolf called Nymeria, a half brother named Jon Snow.

— Arya II, A Feast for Crows

“Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, and a son of Eddard Stark of Winterfell.” Jon turned to Tom Barleycorn. “Have Rory and Pate bring up the horses. I do not mean to stay here one moment longer than we must.”

— Jon VII, A Dance with Dragons

Tyrion, of House Lannister, rightful lord of Casterly Rock, you sniveling worm. “Yollo.”

Interviewer: Why is Dany a princess and not a prince?

George: I made this choice a long time ago, but I think I wanted to play a little with gender roles and reverse things a little... And, of course, "Mother of Dragons", to my mind, is much better than "Father of Dragons". There is the connection between the woman who brings forth life carrying a huge power of death, fire and destruction. There are very powerful metaphors in there.

"Didn't you ever have a brother you wanted to kill?" He laughed again. "Or maybe a sister?" He must have seen something in her face then, for he leaned closer. "Sansa. That's it, isn't it? The wolf bitch wants to kill the pretty bird."

"No," Arya spat back at him. "I'd like to kill you."

Arya IX, ASOS

"Oh, yes. Even a stunted, twisted, ugly little boy can look down over the world when he's seated on a dragon's back." Tyrion pushed the bearskin aside and climbed to his feet. "I used to start fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and stare at the flames for hours, pretending they were dragonfire. Sometimes I'd imagine my father burning. At other times, my sister." Jon Snow was staring at him, a look equal parts horror and fascination. Tyrion guffawed. "Don't look at me that way, bastard. I know your secret. You've dreamt the same kind of dreams."

"No," Jon Snow said, horrified. "I wouldn't …"

I've seen people claiming that the reason Jon Snow was chosen to become Mormont's personal steward due to him being a. Benjen Stark's nephew b. Ned Stark's son. However, nowhere in the text indicates that when Jon went to the Wall he received special treatment due to his Stark lineage. On the contrary, when Jon naivety thought he could join his uncle on the ranger expedition his uncle told him that on the Wall each man had to earn their place.

That night he sought out his uncle in the great timbered common hall and pleaded to go with him. Benjen refused him curtly. "This is not Winterfell," he told him as he cut his meal with fork and dagger. " On the Wall, a man gets only what he earns. You are no ranger, Jon, you are a green boy with the smell of summer still on you".

If the Night's Watch valued nobility that much, it wouldn't make sense for Commander Mormont to exclude Sam Tarly from becoming a black brother alongside with Jon and the rest ; remember Sam promoted to a black brother only after Jon interfered and talked to Maester Aemon. They were about to promote Grenn and Pyp, two kids belonging to smallfolk over Sam, the first son of a noble house. Which further indicates Benjen's point: that on the Night's Watch you get what you deserve.

Why then Jeor Mormont chose Jon Snow as his personal steward; aka a position where the Commander was possibly grooming him for becoming a leader one day?

In my opinion that it due to Maester Aemon talking about Jon to Commander Mormont. He had to, because he promised Jon he would tell Commander to include Sam to the new recruits who would be promoted to black brothers. He probably didn't only spoke about Sam, but also about the boy who came determined to find him in the middle of the night in order to make him change his mind. Being good at backing your point and negotiating is important for a leader so it's no wonder Mormont chose Jon over the rest of the boys.

He was also chosen because of his personality, he made a great impression to Maester Aemon the previous night when he convinced him to include Sam to those who were promoted to black brothers. He used his persuasion skills showing his wit and also proved that he was observant and empathetic towards others. And these are not skills that someone learns thanks to privileged education. They are part of Jon's personality. Similarly, not everyone who is great at swords would help their fellow new recruits to improve as well.That's again part of Jon's personality.

Jon can read and write unlike his peers. Jon knows Northern diplomacy and policy, having learned from Ned and Maester Luwin. These are helpful qualifications for someone who will be Lord Commander, to communicate with other houses and kingdoms to ask for funds and men. This is not to say that no one else of the smallfolk can be that, just that Jon Snow has an advantage and a leg up compared to the likes of Pyp, Grenn, Dareon etc.

Who else has this education:

A lord may love the men that he commands, he could hear his lord father saying, but he cannot be a friend to them. One day he may need to sit in judgment on them, or send them forth to die.

He might have known them anyway, just by the way they stood. A good lord must know his men, his father had once told him and Robb, back at Winterfell.

“The map is not the land, my father often said.

“My lord father said he never ate half so well as when visiting the clans.”

“My lord father used to tell me that a man must know his enemies. We understand little of the wights and less about the Others. We need to learn.”

No doubt Jon’s intelligence and empathy towards his peers also played into the decision, but also AGoT Jon snow when he was chosen for the stewards by Mormont was a bit of a spoiled brat. Look at this reaction, do you really think Mormont chose him for this personality?

Marsh turned his smile on Jon. “Lord Commander Mormont has requested you for his personal steward, Jon. You’ll sleep in a cell beneath his chambers, in the Lord Commander’s tower.”

“And what will my duties be?” Jon asked sharply. “Will I serve the Lord Commander’s meals, help him fasten his clothes, fetch hot water for his bath?” “Certainly.” Marsh frowned at Jon’s tone. “And you will run his messages, keep a fire burning in his chambers, change his sheets and blankets daily, and do all else that the Lord Commander might require of you.”

“Do you take me for a servant?”

“No,” Maester Aemon said, from the back of the sept. Clydas helped him stand. “We took you for a man of Night’s Watch … but perhaps we were wrong in that.”

It was all Jon could do to stop himself from walking out. Was he supposed to churn butter and sew doublets like a girl for the rest of his days? “May I go?” he asked stiffly.

“As you wish,” Bowen Marsh responded.

(--)

Jon turned on him in a fury. “I see Ser Alliser’s bloody hand, that’s all I see. He wanted to shame me, and he has.” Dareon gave him a look. “The stewards are fine for the likes of you and me, Sam, but not for Lord Snow.”

“I’m a better swordsman and a better rider than any of you,” Jon blazed back. “It’s not fair.”

“Fair?” Dareon sneered. “The girl was waiting for me, naked as the day she was born. She pulled me through the window, and you talk to me of fair?” He walked off. “There is no shame in being a steward,” Sam said.

“Do you think I want to spend the rest of my life washing an old man’s smallclothes?” - Jon, AGoT

The Night’s Watch which has turned into a penal colony is sorely in need of skilled men and someone like Jon Snow would be able to climb the ladder faster because he has had the privilege of having mentors like Ned Stark, Maester Luwin and Rodrik Cassel. Again, that’s not taking away from Jon’s emotional intelligence and critical thinking skills. Look at Waymar Royce - whose arrogance got the better of him.

I've seen people claiming that the reason Jon Snow was chosen to become Mormont's personal steward due to him being a. Benjen Stark's nephew b. Ned Stark's son. However, nowhere in the text indicates that when Jon went to the Wall he received special treatment due to his Stark lineage. On the contrary, when Jon naivety thought he could join his uncle on the ranger expedition his uncle told him that on the Wall each man had to earn their place.

That night he sought out his uncle in the great timbered common hall and pleaded to go with him. Benjen refused him curtly. "This is not Winterfell," he told him as he cut his meal with fork and dagger. " On the Wall, a man gets only what he earns. You are no ranger, Jon, you are a green boy with the smell of summer still on you".

If the Night's Watch valued nobility that much, it wouldn't make sense for Commander Mormont to exclude Sam Tarly from becoming a black brother alongside with Jon and the rest ; remember Sam promoted to a black brother only after Jon interfered and talked to Maester Aemon. They were about to promote Grenn and Pyp, two kids belonging to smallfolk over Sam, the first son of a noble house. Which further indicates Benjen's point: that on the Night's Watch you get what you deserve.

Why then Jeor Mormont chose Jon Snow as his personal steward; aka a position where the Commander was possibly grooming him for becoming a leader one day?

In my opinion that it due to Maester Aemon talking about Jon to Commander Mormont. He had to, because he promised Jon he would tell Commander to include Sam to the new recruits who would be promoted to black brothers. He probably didn't only spoke about Sam, but also about the boy who came determined to find him in the middle of the night in order to make him change his mind. Being good at backing your point and negotiating is important for a leader so it's no wonder Mormont chose Jon over the rest of the boys.

I can’t say there’s any one specific model, but a lot of the women I’ve known over the years have had aspects of Arya with them. Especially some of the women I knew when I was a young man back in the ’60s and ’70s, you know — the decade of the sexual revolution and the feminist movement. I knew a lot of young women who weren’t buying into the, “Oh, I have to find a husband and be a housewife.” That’s certainly part of Arya’s thing. There’s that scene where Ned is telling her, “Well, one day you’ll grow up and you’ll marry a great lord and you’ll be the lady of the castle.” And she says, “No, I won’t. I don’t want that. That’s Sansa, that’s not me.” I knew women who were saying things like that: “I don’t wanna be Mrs. Smith, I wanna be my own person.”

--

"The Lannisters are proud," Jon observed. "You'd think the royal sigil would be sufficient, but no. He makes his mother's House equal in honor to the king's."

"The woman is important too!" Arya protested. (Arya I, AGoT)

--

Arya had loved nothing better than to sit at her father's table and listen to them talk. She had loved listening to the men on the benches too; to freeriders tough as leather, courtly knights and bold young squires, grizzled old men-at-arms. She used to throw snowballs at them and help them steal pies from the kitchen. Their wives gave her scones and she invented names for their babies and played monsters-and-maidens and hide-the-treasure and come-into-my-castle with their children. Fat Tom used to call her "Arya Underfoot," because he said that was where she always was. She'd liked that a lot better than "Arya Horseface." (Arya II, AGoT)

--

"The Merling Queen has chosen a new Mermaid to take the place of the one that drowned. She is the daughter of a Prestayn serving maid, thirteen and penniless, but lovely."

"So are they all, at the beginning," said the priest, "but you cannot know that she is lovely unless you have seen her with your own eyes, and you have none. Who are you, child?" (The Blind Girl, ADwD)

Between this and befriending Merry and co at the Happy Port and getting justice for the Layna by whispering Chiswyck's name to Jaqen, or the revenge for both the daughter and Lommy by killing Raff the Sweetling, Arya has shown neither NLOG nor un-feminist behaviour. There isn't any disdain for girls or for being a girl.

I'm not criticizing the actors, I think they all did a really great job, I just want to acknowledge the fact Arya feels like an outsider. That's incredibly important to her story and part of it is physical, because she is the only one who looks like a Stark. That's a pretty important part of her story and it resonates later on when she can't get rid of the identity of Arya Stark of Winterfell. It is important that she is the only one who looks like Jon while the others have the Tully look.