Time is not so good at telling after all

Okay first of all, I had mixed feelings about the Finale and still do. It took me a while to process and will continue to do so.

This show has meant so fucking much to me. I have been waiting seven years to see their ending and holy shit it has been a wild ride. So so grateful for it all and so many emotions running through my body at the moment.

Let us start off with the easy stuff, the small things I really enjoyed:

The Opening Scene: Michael, what has happened to your hair? The Legolas Cosplay memes are making me wheeze, keep them coming, everyone. I totally called the Opening Scene to be an early flashback during/right after The Fall (that was part of my season 3 bingo). The hints of their dynamic already being present so early on is heartwarming. They really were meant to be. I have seen people theorise that the bandage turned out to become Crowley’s trademark tie? I am personally not sure if that is true, but if it is, holy shit that is insane. Amazingly executed, and I am so glad we got at least one single flashback (I really missed them in this episode…).

Jesus/Joshua/Josh: He was a baby, and he was lovely, cutesie, a little lost but overall, truly pure soul I had hoped for. Finally, we got historically accurate Jesus, for once. I loved all of his scenes and yes, he was underused but that is almost certainly due to the immense cuts they had to work around. The fact that he still managed to represent the best of humanity, community and empathy, shows, how much the creators care about this story. I was very sad to just see him disappear again without his true purpose having been fully lived, he deserved better. But he rejoined the world for a third time at the end, no higher purpose but his own free will, and got to go on a date (?!) with the fucking Antichrist? Was I the only one who noticed that was Adam’s god damn actor from season 1, all grown up?? I freaked out.

God: holy shit, I did not think they would actually directly show Them. The outfit, the aura, the voice, the characterisation, the eery creepiness while still serving mother, the mystery and the fucking atmosphere. And the fact that we got explicit confirmation that she ships our Ineffable Husbands and their love story was always part of her plan… Glorious, fabulous, no notes, 10/10.

Crowley’s new heaven look: Smash. No other comments. Smash.

Muriel: Muriel was delightful, as always. Would have really enjoyed the possibility of them staying on Earth and getting to see their dynamic with Crowley, but you cannot get everything, so I guess this will stay a concept for incredible fanfictions. But guess what will not stay a concept for fanfic: Ineffable Juniors! Loved that tiny interaction and did not believe they would hint at another adorable fandom ship being canon until I saw them both reincarnated at the bar together, chatting and laughing.

The other Angels: Did not care for Sandalphon, did very much care for Uriel and screamed when she was erased (yes, she is a corrupt and sometimes awful being who was a bitch to Aziraphale, she still slays and I love her as a character). The Metatron disappeared basically right away, not sure how to feel about that. I hate that motherfucker but also he is a very important character. Still, it felt almost nostalgic to see him again in the epilogue, all calm and ordinary, like your elderly neighbour from across the street. Lastly, Michael’s character breakdown was incredible, phenomenal acting. Imagine what they could have done if they had a full six episodes season…

Other characters reappearing: I love how Jesus’ first interaction back on Earth was with one of the best casual trans/non-binary representations from season 2, I have ever seen (unfortunately forgot their name, help me out here…). Was very sad to realise that their husbands apparently passed away? Did I get that right? Anyways, my poor poor Whickber Street, they suffered so much, my poor things… As much as I loved seeing all these familiar faces, I really missed Maggie and Nina. Although their story is most definitely over, I would have really enjoyed a cameo – that was honestly most likely cut due to the short time available.

Next up, what can I say about the plot? It was fine. I really liked the concept and the ideas they used, even though they could not fully explore them for obvious reasons. For what it was, I was content with the storyline, it was short lived but contained most of the relevant points. Yes, there were some plot holes and some storylines left unfinished, but let us be honest and remember that they had to cut down most of the season and therefore prioritise the non-negotiable plot pillars that built up this show. If most/all of us were to be put in that situation, we would have decided the same.

Now, getting to our beloved ineffable idiots:

Crowley having intense, alcohol-driven breakdowns and handling the divorce incredibly well, obviously, was hilariously predictable – in a positive way. Although, I did not foresee the gambling/mafia subplot…

I was not ready for both of them to meet again face to face and I still cannot comprehend how it happened. Obviously, there is lots to talk about and I am so glad they did get to talk. That was some actual communication we witnessed – proud of these idiots – albeit in hectic and stressful car rides or at the literal Edge of the Universe. I understand that they did not have the time for the hour long Talk in a calm environment they deserved/needed.

With what they were given to work with, I think it went quite well.

The banter, the pettiness, their perspectives – for 90 minutes I could not have hoped for more. Their characterisation was on point, their dynamic ineffable and the acting absolute peak. Period.

So… let us talk about the elephant in the room. What do I think about the ending?

Honestly, I was having a hard time watching it all play out. I still have mixed feelings but let me try to break it down:

Even before the Finale aired, I did not like the idea of a human ending. In my opinion, after all that time, after all they have been through, after taking millions of years to figure it out, to become an Us, they deserved eternity together and I stand by that.

That said, this ending, in my opinion, makes total sense. The story has always been about the beauty of humanity, the importance of free will and the courage to ask questions. Yes, for many of us (including me) this story was about Aziraphale and Crowley. But the bigger picture is not about them but about humanity. They have fallen in love with humanity while falling in love with each other. Their fate and humanity’s have always been intertwined and this Finale really felt like going back to the roots of that exact theme, that I truly love. Honestly, season 2 might have lulled us into a cozy dream of this show being a rom com about this unlikely duo, when it is in fact not.

So, why did Crowley make this decision?

Both times Crowley wanted to run away with Aziraphale, he was utterly hopeless. He did not see a way out other than running from it all. He was evading this conflict, trying to find any solution he could live with.

In the Finale, it was a different situation, right there at the End of the World. They were talking directly to God, she was not ignoring them anymore. They were heard and for once, finally, given the opportunity to choose.

That was the first act of true Free Will, right there.

Crowley had never gotten to choose before. From his perspective, there has always been just one way out and that was running away. Maybe this time he did not want to. This one final time, he saw the chance to fulfill his deep, ultimate wish of protecting humanity that has been his core value, making up his entire being, since Before The Beginning.

And I believe, in the end, he finally did find a solution he could accept – it just was not one he could live with.

It is very much in character for Crowley to ask this question and to make this decision and yes, there should have been more time for Aziraphale to get to the point of accepting his feelings for his demon, but going along with Crowley’s decision and joining his love is as in character as it can be.

The scene of them in the garden bookshop is one of the most beautiful that has ever graced my eyes, and I will be forever grateful having been able to witness it.

I bawled my eyes out.

I see a lot of people are disappointed because of the lack of kissing, and I do genuinely get that - a lot of people includes me. I was waiting, anticipating, shouting at my TV for them to kiss but it did not happen. I think the only appropriate moment would have been in the Eden Bookshop at the end of the world and I like to imagine that they got the gentle, soft and romantic kiss they deserved right there off-screen, just for them to experience it.

In general, they were never an overly physical couple (that is a theme to be left for fanfictions…). We did not get to see TheKissTM until the very end of season 2 and yes, they absolutely, totally, 100% deserved a second one not out of pure desperation, but I try telling myself that they did not need it. It has never been necessary to show their love in a physical way, even though I also would have loved to see a second kiss. They are two supernatural beings and although their love is so painfully, naturally human, it transcends these categories and you could tell in this Finale, even though they did not explicitly kiss.

It perfectly fits their narrative, the way it ended, even though I/we might have wished for something else.

Many are complaining about the fingertip kiss not being a proper one and yes, it is not but let us remember what happened right after The KissTM: after Crowley left, Aziraphale raised his fingertips to his mouth, in shock, in love. And now, right as the world, as their existence is ending, he used his hand to give that kiss back to Crowley. It is not being afraid of showing a canonically queer kiss, it is an homage to the very first time it happened.

And that is a beautiful full circle moment.

They could never have been happy in a universe with a heaven and a hell. That is the great tragedy of their love story. And we did see how even after they became practically independent, they never got to live in peace. This decision is the only one that made sense, erasing the supernatural, letting humanity take its course – true free will, no interference by heaven nor hell, and therefore no interference by Aziraphale or Crowley. Did they deserve to have a proper goodbye, a gentle kiss and eternity together? Yes. They both deserved the world.

But it is not our decision, it was theirs. And they chose humanity over everything. That is what this show has always been all about.

They wanted to save humanity in the first season, that is what brought them together in the first place, their love for these silly human beings sparked the beginning of their love for each other, and in the end they finally got to save humanity in the most heartbreaking way possible.

———

I still cannot watch them being erased from existence, it absolutely shatters my soul. And when I tell you, I was fucking scared, they would not become human but just disappear, never to be seen again. And then I saw the bookshop. And a red-haired bloke. And I knew. I remembered the set leak we got a year ago and I knew. I knew it was them. Many might disagree and say it is not them and trust me, I totally understand the sentiment.

It is not them.

It is not them, and I will be mourning these characters I have grown to love, who deserved so much better. Their memories, their 6000+ years of history has been erased, destined to haunt the narrative as a distant echo. I do think I would have preferred them to keep their memories, at least in some capacity.

Nonetheless, these reincarnations are bright in their familiarity. I was screaming when Anthony turned out to be an Astrophysics Professor. Losing their memories means losing the version of Aziraphale and Crowley we experienced this story with, but it also means that they got a chance to live their lives freely, without the trauma, the religious indoctrination, the hurt, the pain, the suffering. Crowley never had to fall, was never abandoned for asking questions. Aziraphale was never a victim of heavens manipulation.

No heaven, no hell, just an Us.

Did they deserve eternity? Did our Aziraphale and Crowley deserve so much more? Yes.

They deserved the world. But they did get the world, the world they wished for, and they did get to be an Us.

The ending gave us so much. We got the South Downs, the Coziness, the pure fluff, even if it was short lived. They deserved eternity but they had fallen in love with humanity, and I think I can see the beauty in them getting to fall in love a second time as humans themselves, without the burden of millions of years of existence. They got to live their lives, together, they got married, they grew old together. The ending showed us that they are destined to meet each other, destined to fall in love in each and every universe and if that is not the definition of soulmates, I do not know what is.

I am still grieving, will be grieving for quite some time I imagine, these characters that I have fallen in love with and who have given me so much. They are gone. They deserved so much better. And that is the tragedy of the bittersweet ending we got.

I hated the ending. I loved the ending.

Overall, yes, you could really tell that it was rushed with lots of plot points being cut out. Do I think whole six episodes would have been better? Yes, absolutely. Do I resent Rachel, Rhianna, Michael and David and everyone else who worked on this for it? No, never. They all fought so hard, to give our beloved idiots, to give this story, to give us this ending, any ending at all. It was a conclusion, and it was not perfect, but it is what it is, and you can tell how much work, energy and love went into it. We have to remember that they did not do it for Amazon, they did not even do it for us, for the fans, they did it for Terry.

This was the ending Terry imagined and thus it was perfect.

Thank you for this journey, everyone, it has been a wild ride.