The Human Disaster™

Me struggling to plug my phone in at night: don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think abo

if mangoes didn’t have the stone in the middle, humanity would reach a new level of hedonism. we could just eat thru the whole thing without having to think. we’d permanently regress to a primal state. the seed grounds us, makes us careful when we eat. this defines us. fuck i wish i had a mango

lord the women you put on earth to enjoy media are being forced to log in to outlook and microsoft teams

crumpling under the weight of two unanswered texts

bugs are so important to this world I will never diminish the worth of a bug but the truthis they scare me and I don’t want them in my home please

I will lie, cheat, and scam if it means getting out of a conversation I don't wanna be in. My sense of ethical behavior vanishes entirely when I want ppl to stop talking to me. One time I pretended not to know what Egypt was so they'd stop talking to me about their vacation plans

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

the last sentence of my thesis

Losing the war against emails

youre telling me a queer coded this

universities and colleges will be like "we have one the best libraries containing the largest collection of resources in the world" and then assign you readings that look like they were photocopied next to the chernobyl elephant's foot

using the ‘im having email issues’ excuse is so good bc its not a lie. i do have email issues. every day i get them

rice fills me with joy and happiness, but more importantly it fills me with rice

being in your early 20s is crazy bc there’s people who are literally married and people who’ve never even dated and people who are trapped in their childhood bedrooms waiting to get out and people who are trying to live out romanticized dream lives and people who are completely on their own and people with multi tiered support systems and we’re all supposedly peers and none of us think we’re doing it right at all

all-women productions of shakespeare plays are so enlightened not for necessarily any feminist reason i just really like it when women kiss and duel each other to the death