are you feeling better now?

Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.

“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”

The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.

“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”

The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.

A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.

A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”

The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.

It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror

Have A gooD dy

Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)

You R out of MLK

And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.

Dear Occupente,

I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.

I am bord. Lonly.

I am sorrY 4 breaking things.

We be frends?

Syncerly Eloise

(Part 2) | (Part 3)

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caity weaver is very much not ‘an entitled person doing stupid shit for clout’, she is a very skilled writer who has had a career in journalism over a decade long and happened to write a silly article about mozzarella sticks

as she states in the article she does tip over 1000% on a ~$10 check, which, as math will tell you, does mean she left a tip of at least 100 dollars.