Crows.
Thanks to a starling, these crows had sunflower heads today.
I decided on Tuesday to go down to the beach. I saw some seagulls, pigeons, and one starling. It was perfectly happy joining in with the savaging of the beach. Although in that moment, I considered the starling to be out classed and I offered some of my lunch. A birds a bird and to the starling it was probably a rare but not notable occurrence. To me, I felt something that I recently started to fear. It was a kind exchange of one living thing to another.
Why would I fear that? Well, things have been somewhat turbulent in my life recently. I've had to deal with issues which are stressful, and people who are suffering the effects of those stresses. There is kindness, there is good intention. But if someone thinks they're doing good, it's impossible to stop them.
I didn't force the starling to eat what I had to offer. I didn't think the bird would think much of it either. But it took it, like any bird in a city would do. I started crying. There was no subtext to decode, no condescending remarks, no one questioning me for wanting to do what they're already doing. It was just, simple.
I decided I would go back, better prepared with some sunflower heads. I went back today, and it was freezing. I tried to encourage the sparce amount of crows with little luck. I met the eye of one of them, mimed eating, and started sprinkling the sunflower heads. With a solitary caw from that crow, others flew in and gathered round.
I didn't stick around, I was frozen to the bones. but took this picture before I left. As I walked away, the crows jumped up and started eating. I had scattered the feed generously along the wall so they all had space.
Maybe, by doing this they saved some time. Maybe, I changed nothing at all. But I had made my own happiness for the first time in a long time, and I wasn't judged by the birds at all.
