Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum

[ apr. 29, 2020 - 11:06 am ]

A while ago, I penned a fairly angry response to something circulating on the internet – the 21 Habits of Happy People. It pissed me off beyond belief, that there was an inference that if you weren’t Happy, you simply weren’t doing the right things.

I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. It’s manifested in different ways. I did therapy. I did prozac. I did more therapy. My baseline is melancholic. I’d just made peace with it when I moved, unintentionally, to a place that had markedly less sunshine in the winter. I got seasonal depression. I got that under control. Then I got really, really sick. Turns out it’s a permanent, painful genetic disorder. My last pain-free day was four years ago.

So, this Cult of Happy article just set me off. Just… anger. Rage. Depression is serious – debilitating, often dangerous, and it’s got an enormous stigma. It leaves people to fend for themselves.

It’s bad enough without people ramming Happy Tips at you through facebook. There is no miracle behaviour change that will flip that switch for you. I know, I’ve tried.

A friend of mine suggested that I write something from my point of view because, surprisingly, I manage to give an outwards impression of having my shit together. I was shocked to hear this. And I find this comical, but I see her point. I’m functioning. I’ve adapted. I’m surprisingly okay. I think the medical term is “resilient”.

So, here it is.

My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

1)   Know that you’re not alone. Know that we are a silent legion, who, every day face the solipsism and judgement of Happy People Who Think We Just Aren’t Trying.  There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet.

2)   Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.)

3)   Enlist the help of a professional.  See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly shit, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel. 

4)   Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor.

5)   Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that.  Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage.

6)   Eat nutritionally sound, regular small meals. If you’re having trouble eating, try to focus on what you’d like to eat. I went through a whole six week episode of tomatoes and cream cheese on a bagel twice a day. Not great, but it was something – helpful context, I’m a recovered anorexic. Conversely, if all you want to do is scarf down crap, try to off-ramp it by downing a V-8 and doing #9 for 15 minutes, and see how you feel.  Chucking your blood sugar all over hell’s half acre is going to make you feel worse.

7)   While you’re doing #3, get some bloodwork done. If you’re low on iron or vitamin D, or if your hormone levels are doing the Macarena… these can all contribute to zapping your energy or switching your mood to Bleak As Hell.

8)   If you’re in bed and the “insomnia hamsters”, as I like to call them, are on the wheel of your head, watch Nightly Business News on PBS. This has the effect of Nyquil.  Swap out your coffee for herbal tea. If you just cannot sleep, try the next tip….

9)   Learn how to meditate. Start by focusing on your breathing. Not sleep, not thoughts. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Meditation is focusing on being present in your body, not careening around in your brain. It may not be as good as sleep but it will give you some rest and recharge you.

10)                  Face a window as often as you can – at work, at home. Look out into the world. Watch. Observe. Try to find something you find pretty or interesting to focus on. And, handily remember that one in five of those people out there feel the way you do.

11)                  Cry. Better out than in. Sometimes it’s not convenient or career-enhancing to cry, so find a private place as best you can and let the tears go. Carry Kleenex and face wipes and extra concealer if you wear makeup. You can always claim allergies.

12)                   Any “friend” who resolutely believes that your depression is because you’re lazy, because you’re not trying hard enough, who blames you for not bootstrapping out of it- that friend needs to be cut off. Polite (#2) is one thing, but there is a limit. You don’t have to explain, you can just not respond. You feel badly enough, you don’t need their “assistance”.

13)                  Limit your time with people who drain you. You know who they are. Often you don’t have a choice- but you can put the meter on. And, subsequently, be aware of what you’re asking of those close to you.

14)                  Everyone has shit they’ve got to deal with. What you have been saddled with is your shit. Recognize, just as you’re not alone, you’re also not unique. The grass may look greener, you may be jealous or envious of others who don’t have to deal with depression, but you likely do not know everything that’s going on with them.  

15)                  Let go or be dragged. This is an old Buddhist saying. It’s a very useful way to frame aspects of depression. Betrayal, anger, fear… letting go is a process – often a painful and difficult process - but it’s ultimately going to show you the path out of this terrible place. Repeating the mantra can help when you’re feeling gripped by these feelings.

16)                  Wear clothes that make you feel confident. It takes as much time to put on nice clothes as it does to put on sweatpants. You will want to wear the sweatpants. Fight the urge. The whole “look good/feel better” campaign isn’t limited to cancer and chemotherapy. Or women.

17)                  Avoid fictional drama and tragedy like the plague. No Grey’s Anatomy, no to The Notebook, or anything that won a Pulitzer prize. You’ve got enough going on In Real Life. Comedy only.  Or trashy stuff. Old episodes of WonderWoman? I’ve got the box set. Mindless drivel, like the latest CGI blockbuster. Or clever, funny books. David Sedaris. Jenny Lawson. Fiction exists to elicit emotion, and the emotion you need to express most right now is laughter.

18)                  Simple exercise, if you can. It can be something as simple as taking the stairs up a flight, or walking around the block. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it doesn’t have to involve climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Baby steps.

19)                  Depression will lie to you. Depression will try to tell you what others are thinking.  That you are unloved and unworthy, that others think little of you or don’t care – or even wish you harm. You are not a psychic. Keep repeating that. “I am not a psychic”.  Repeat. The only way to know what another person is thinking is to up and ask them.

20)                  If you are well and truly losing this battle, reach out to someone. I’ve been the random friendly-but-not-close person who has fielded the occasional outreach. I like to think I’m not judgemental and generally resourceful, and others have thought the same, so they called and asked. You know someone like me. And they will help you.

21)                  Forgive yourself.  I’m writing out all these tips, and I can’t always muster the strength to even stick my nose outside, or walk up the stairs, or eat my vegetables. Today, I got outside for ten minutes. I will try again tomorrow. And I will try again the day after that.

This list will not cure you. This list will not flip on the happy switch. God, I wish it were that easy. The theme here is to not to unknowingly sabotage yourself. All these little things? Like your blood sugar, or watching nonstop episodes of House, or endless Try Harder lectures from your Perpetually Perky sister?

They all make dealing with depression just a tiny bit harder than it needs to be. And it’s hard enough, all on its own.

(New: Downloadable, printable, nonsweary version of the 21 tips here.)

UPDATE: Wow, guys. Thank you. The feedback has been wonderful - all I wanted to set out to do was something helpful.

For those of you who want to see the original rant, Here it is.. www.diycouturier.com/post/41923259437/to-the-person-who-wrote-21-habits-… And here’s the response to my response (?) - basically, after posting my retort, the happy people came at me with torches all over the interwebs. www.diycouturier.com/post/42465364887/trollin-trollin-trollin#_=_

Also, a few people have mentioned that having a critter is a great thing to keep you on track, that taking care of something and having something rely on you keeps you going. I went back and forth on including that, but for some, it’s just not feasible to have a cat or a dog… but my cat is my Prozac.

And, I wrote this in Canada, where we have universal health care. It breaks my heart that people don’t have access to professional support. You can sometimes find a community health centre, or sometimes your work benefits will have an employee support or assistance plan as part of your insurance. If you’re without benefits and hitting desperation, phone someone. Friend, family - even your local distress centre.

Stay well, my melancholic interweb friends…xoRR

ANOTHER UPDATE six weeks or so later…

This - um, wow. I dropped off for a while - stuff, life, illness management boring blah blah - and this sucker is *still* flying around. I googled this, and it’s all over hell’s half acre, which is amazing, and I still can’t quite believe it…

I’m STILL getting lovely emails and messages - thank you so much. I’m just awed by your response.

On the Funny Note - a lot of people reposting this seem to think I’m male, which is wildly entertaining… because I work in sex and gender health policy issues… but I don’t really care how you gender me, so long as we’re talking.

Nov 15 2013 - Update again. THANK YOU.

Today I wanted to share some tips on how to make studying easier despite mental illness. I chose to mention anxiety and depression specifically because it’s what I have experience with.

Give yourself time -I know this one is easier said than done, especially when your illness makes you procrastinate. But this will help you fight overwhelm so much I promise. Try to start doing things as soon as you can. Talk yourself into starting. Just starting, nothing more.

Divide tasks into smaller chunks -If you give yourself time, then you can work small piece by piece. Writing 10 page essay is overwhelming as hell but knowing you have to write a few words per day or just do research will help you dial the feelings down a bit.

Just start -Tell yourself you have to do this just for 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes. Nothing bad can happen to you in 5 minutes. This will get you started and once you’re in it and going, you should be able to continue for a lot longer.

Something is better than nothing -You might not be able to memorise all 20 pages or write the entire essay right now, but if you start and learn one page or write half a page, you’re already moving forward.

Done is what we’re going for -Just get it done. Not perfect, not even good. Just done. Because sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

It’s never as important as it seems -Things always seem huge and scary but ultimately, it’s never that bad. Hell, if you really zoom out you’ll realise the most important thing is just staying alive and a bad grade isn’t going to kill you.

Priotitize -Sometimes you just won’t have the energy to do everything, so pick the most important ones and leave the rest. You might come back to it later, you might not.

Ask for help if you need it -Ask teachers, ask friends. Know you’re not alone.

Be kind to yourself -Do not beat yourself up over failing things or feeling like you’re not doing as well as others. Just realise that unlike healthy people, you’re dragging this huge boulder. Sometimes lighter, sometimes heavier, but it’s always an extra weight. And yet you’re running the same race and you’re surviving. You should be proud of yourself.

Relax properly -Make time for yourself. Do things that doesn’t involve mindless scrolling. Get all the rest you need.

it’s your worst nightmare: you have tons of work to do and yet, you can’t seem to get it done. you’re tired and you’re sick of working so hard. don’t let a burnout stop you! here are some tips for avoiding and getting over a burnout. you can do this! (:

** first things first.. what is a burnout? **

burnout |ˈbərnˌout| noun

physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress: high levels of professionalism that may result in burnout | you’ll suffer a burnout.

burnouts happen to everyone now and then and the most important thing for you to know is that it’s okay!! *gasp* yes, it’s actually okay to feel like you need to stop once in a while. you’re only human. basically, it’s when you just can’t seem to focus on your work anymore or you really really need a break.

however, note that there’s a difference between procrastination and burnouts. procrastination is when you keep doing other stuff instead of your work. burnouts are when you keep doing your work and never do other stuff. (i suppose burnouts can lead to procrastination, but there is a difference!)

** preventing them **

NUMBER ONE TIP FOR PREVENTING BURN OUTS is to not overwork yourself!! this is so important!! you should not be pulling all nighters every other day to study!! you should not be cancelling doctors appointments or meetings with friends to study! go out there and have some fun, care about your health, do your thing! even if you don’t have anything else to do, instead of just doing more work, find something else that’s fun and requires little effort. in fact, do that fun stuff while you study! make studying and work not a task or chore, but something you enjoy and doesn’t stress you out.

fun games to play during study breaks

drift : you’re a cat and you’re jumping over balloons. super simple to learn and really fun to play!!

tea : by the same person who created drift, there are two mice and you’re collecting sugar cubes for tea! so cute ohmygoodnesss

2048 : i’m sure you know what this is but use your keys to slide the tiles around and try to get the 2048 tile!

tetris : classic game of tetris. i like this one because it keeps your brain moving fast, but you’re still taking a (much-needed) break, which is great!

flower reaction : you’re a flower and when you click, your flower (and the flowers around your flower) grow bigger, and your goal is to time your first flower so that you’ll have the largest chain reaction. watching the flowers get bigger is really calming for me!

flow : interesting little game where you’re basically a mouth and a body, and you eat other teeny organisms.

if you play some cute little games every now and then while you study, your grade will be fine. don’t worry <3

another thing you can do instead of playing a game is to go to a relaxing website or look at motivational quotes. my absolute favorite is the 90 second relaxation exercise because it’s so quick but it definitely helps!! it’s super calming and *be sure to turn your sound on because the music is lovely*

more stuff to help you relax + get motivated during breaks

the quiet place : go to the quiet place if you need to take a step back and just relax for a little bit.

easewave : pretty background and a motivational quote every day! you can also go to the navigation and click “browse quotes” if you want to see more. you can also get it as a chrome extension in case you don’t want to go to the website.

tonematrix : click on the squares to make different sounds! plus you can make really cute patterns and such.

webchemy : basically makes symmetrical art, it’s really neat if you just need to frantically click at the screen and make something that looks cool!

relax.li : pick an option and look at a video + listen to some nice audio to relax! my favorite is the cat (;

sometimes instead of staying at your computer screen, maybe it’s better to step away for a little bit. go for a quick run, or walk, or even just a stretch. go outside (unless it’s raining. you still can, of course, but bring an umbrella, silly!) and take a breath of fresh air!

stuff to do outside!

99 free things to do outside : exactly what it sounds like. 99 things you can do outside of your house for free.

101 things to do outside : also includes a cute little coloring page, though this is probably more for little kids there’s definitely still stuff you can do!

go for a walk with your friends/family and have a big discussion on something you can all talk about!

take a camera and just snap photos of things you find beautiful. it could be a mother and her child, some flowers, the sky, someone crying… i don’t know, whatever floats your boat~

bring a journal and just sit under a tree and write for a little bit. a diary entry, a song, a story you’ve been working on (that rhymes omg), it doesn’t matter!! but.. do not write your essay under that tree, okay? write something else!

relive your childhood and play tag. seriously just play something you used to play and haven’t played in a while because you will feel wonderfully nostalgic + exercise is great and makes you happy!

window shopping can be really fun if you need to get your mind off things. or just go to a shop and try half the store on and don’t get anything. y’know 0:-)

go to an arts store or something and buy things for diys or your bullet journal (washi tape yessss) or some art project you want to start and spend some time working on artsy fartsy stuff!!

lie in the grass with a book and read. or sleep.

11 fun things to do on a rainy day : if it’s raining, that doesn’t always mean “hit the books”. here’s stuff you can do (not outside, i guess) when it’s rainy.

if you really have to study for something and you don’t have time to spare but you’re worried about a burn out, there are still some things you can do to help!

set a schedule : make a solid, never-changing-regardless-of-circumstance, study schedule. leave plenty of room for breaks. studying non-stop WON’T help you, but if you have a set schedule that you’re used to and you know works for you, use it.

study in new places : this may not work for everyone but sometimes the best way to prevent a burn out is to make sure you feel like you’re not always doing the same thing! switch it up with study spaces – study outside, go to the library, stay at your desk, etc. – but try to make sure you’re not getting distracted!

break it down : break everything down into smaller tasks that are easier to accomplish! instead of “finish final project”, make it “finish outline” “finish design” “type it up” etc. so that you don’t feel too daunted. also, if you’re like me and you feel a great sense of accomplishment + motivation when you check things off a to-do list, making more manageable tasks will be like many bursts of motivation!

experiment : like with the new study spaces, maybe try new techniques! have you never ever used flashcards before? try those out (especially for vocab!) studying for history and you think you should make a timeline, even if you’ve never made one before? go for it!

talk to other people : it might help to teach what you’re learning to someone else. it’ll help you remember it better and that way, you actually understand the material. i would recommend “teaching” to someone who has already learnt everything so that if you make a mistake they can correct you!

make it right for you : lots of great studyblrs post gorgeous pictures of their studying. but that’s not how everyone needs to study, and we know that! if you don’t study well by taking pretty notes, and instead you like hearing recordings of your lectures, that’s great too! get yourself in your own study zone, not anyone else’s.

** bonus – some other posts that talk about studying tips and self care that you should take a peek at!! **

6 things people don’t always tell you about studying : great if you need help getting over procrastination

all the self care : some nice self care stuff like what to do on a bad day or beating stress and anxiety!

10 rules of good and bad studying : this is so immensely helpful!!

how to get motivated / stop procrastinating : short but sweet

motivation : best post for motivation i’ve found!! like honestly if you are unmotivated click here and i assure you waves of motivation will pour over you!

** getting over a burnout **

first of all, stop comparing yourself to other people. this might not help you, but for me, when i get burned out it’s because i’m trying hard to prove everyone wrong and my competitiveness is just messing everything up. focus on yourself instead of other people. so what if they got a better grade than you on that test, what matters is that you got a better grade than what you got last time!! it’s so stereotypical but you really just need to ignore what everyone else is doing and just go for it.

if you’re having a huge burnout i would suggest to sleep a lot. go to sleep thinking about things you’re grateful for, things that make you happy, things that relax you, etc. and take lots of nice, long, hot showers. wear comfy clothes. drink lots of tea/coffee/hot chocolate/your preference. just get yourself in a more comfortable zone, you feel?

sometimes you might be burned out for one subject but not the other. your mindset should not be “oh, i can’t do this anymore, guess i’ll devote my energy and soul to that subject instead!” learn from your mistakes! you can still study that other subject but remember to balance your time out. maybe by studying your other subject you’ll regain motivation to study the original one, and that’s great! but if you’re just burning out more and more, take. a. break.

talk to someone about it!! other people may have experienced the same and have super valuable + great advice for you, especially if they know you well. i’m a person on the internet who you’ve probably never met, i don’t know what works best for you! if you talk to people who are close to you about it, maybe they can spark an idea in your head.

woohoo, that’s it for now ^^ this is my second masterpost (ohmygoodness that sounds so cool hearing it now) and i really hope it helps you!! also, i’d like to thank you for all the nice comments and support i got on my first masterpost ♥ i honestly never expected you guys to like the idea so much! thanks again and have a looovely day (also coming up : more on online schools, study playlists!)

11.05.2020 // 18:20pm

10.04.2020

Bacteria have a cunning ability to survive in unfriendly environments.

For example, through a complicated series of interactions, they can identify—and then build resistance to—toxic chemicals and metals, such as silver and copper. Bacteria rely on a similar mechanism for defending against antibiotics.

In E. coli bacterium, the inner membrane sensor protein CusS mobilizes from a clustered form upon sensing copper ions in the environment. CusS recruits the transcription regulator protein CusR and then breaks down ATP to phosphorylate CusR, which then proceeds to activate gene expression to help the cell defend against the toxic copper ions.

Cornell researchers combined genetic engineering, single-molecule tracking and protein quantitation to get a closer look at this mechanism and understand how it functions. The knowledge could lead to the development of more effective antibacterial treatments.

17.04.2020

welcome to the good place ! ╮(─▽─)╭ everything is design! second design masterpost by @cmpsbls here are some of my favorite resources that i found throughout my first semester for my graphic design/art classes (◕‿◕✿)

compared to my first masterpost, all of these resources are tried n tested n heart eyed, (✿ ♥‿♥) these are websites i find myself frequenting while working on projects! 

tutorials  for those who wanna pick up a new skill! 

photoshop 

photoshop 1

photoshop 2 

illustrator

illustrator  1

illustrator  2

indesign

indesign 1

indesign 2

other graphic design apps

gimp

inspiration faves 

abduzeedo

smashing magazine

creativebloq

behance (still!) ♡

designshard

booooooom ♡

designspiration

itsnicethat

99designs ♡

httpster (web design <3)

niice ♡♡

fonts bc im still a typography hoe

fontsquirrel

behance ♡

1001fonts

befonts

pixelsurplus ♡

graphicdesignfreebies

typewolf! ♡♡

pics 

burst shopify

icons8

unsplash

pexels

icons

thenounproject! ♡

ionicons

simple icons

colors

huesnap

adobe color ♡

and of course trusty pinterest for simple resources like transparents & color palettes (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ 

if it helps, here are my socials i pin a lot & i have an 2020 art ig/tumblr now

pinterest : xuxisgf

art ig: nicreated & art tumblr : @nicreated