i am just standing here

guys please stop joking about ringo starr having the elf stones. an important cultural artifact of elvenkind ending up in the hands of a human percussionist is not funny.

this ISNT A JOKE the elf stones have spent TWELVE YEARS in the hands of an ENGLISHMAN how do you think they ended up at auction? they conveniently went missing after the dwarven kingdom of Stonekeep invaded and vandalized the Silverwood. WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CROWN A NEW ELF PRINCE FOR A DECADE.

i could not BEGIN to discuss the significance of elfstones being in possession of a musician to you people. and don't even get me started on Ringo's stance on the Deepfolk Treaty of the Third Age.

He screm

imagine you're Plato and you get resurrected and the first thing someone tells you is your name now means "not having sex" and you're like haha linguistic coincidences are wild and they're like no it's a direct reference to you as a person

The raptors one is the most painful one for me they literally had a dinosaur playing basketball in their logo maybe the coolest thing in the fucking world and they were like let's get rid of him

JENNY MATH :D

I drank a shitload of honey last night and slept for 12 hours

Stop calling me bear

so i went to my new dentist today and he said to me "so i heard you bite?" and i said "i may nip" and he said "oh your going to be a feisty one. i like a challenge"

some people are getting horny to this but it wasnt a horny moment. i got banned from this dentist already

now no one left in this city will take me on im afraid my crunchys gonna fall out 😭

i cant afford to lose my crunchys i need those for cracking peanures

we need more non white writers in doctor who because realistically if the master regenerated into what humans perceive as an indian british man his instinct would not be to join the nazis, it would be to troll the hell out of everyone. the master would be like "ugh. unit is always racially profiling me" and the doctor would be like "you literally tried to set london on fire" and the master would be like "wow, doctor, racist much? just assuming i'm a criminal because i'm a brown man?" and the doctor would be like "three hundred years ago you tried to blow up the taj mahal" and the master would be like "what can i say? it was in the way"

crucially, where the doctor is more or less indifferent to human bigotry and identity (and would just be confused if subjected to misogyny), the master is really invested in human bigotry and identity and, more to the point, finds them hilarious. john simm's master would complain about reverse racism, michelle gomez's master would be catty and misogynistic to clara and then be like i can't be sexist, i'm literally a woman, i could not more clearly be wearing high heels, and sacha dhawan's master would commiserate with yaz about racism whilst telling her to her face that she is lesser than him for being human

my winning strategy for fixing doctor who is "we should make the master a reverse racist"

I drank a shitload of honey last night and slept for 12 hours

Stop calling me bear

I drank a shitload of honey last night and slept for 12 hours

Stop calling me bear

getting a jobjob from a water cooler with big pronouns

so are there any other fuckable video game water coolers that i should know about.