Welcome to the elk parade

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

you've heard of death of the author, now get ready for death of the audience: where instead of basing your reaction on a thousand uninformed opinions online, you actually read the text and engage with it

girl help there's people on this post who can't actually read my text

The hatemail game on this website is insane

You can give a cat a pill 3 times and then they will have your move set memorized and will animation cancel a swallow

I know you mean the Magazine, but it’s funnier to imagine you calling these two commenters Whores.

the way prehistoric animal documentaries will talk about extinction like it happens because of “a failure to evolve” as though evolution is a meritocracy is so funny and so scary

this species persisted over the eons because of its Protestant work ethic to produce more of a specific kind of digestive enzyme that allowed it to extract 4% more nutrients from the dominant plant species in the area

my hands hurt

guy with depression: idk stories about time loops just kinda really resonate with me haha idk why

guy with depression: it's so sad when they're doing the same thing over and over again insisting this time it'll be different. it sure would suck if time loops were real!

the internet is a place for reading wikipedia articles and watching every movie for free. social media is an invasive species. never forget this

Hey do you guys mind if I-- 😜

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the makeup industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. in fact. im doing none of that

yeah I have political reasons for it now but my original and still most powerful reason is "I am not getting out of this bed one single second before I have to"