The Dumb Scientist

gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets

Will Smith was just banned from the Oscars for 10 years for slapping a guy. Unrelated but here's an IMDb list of the most famous actors and directors who signed the letter asking for the statutory rape charges against Roman Polanski, who is not banned from the Oscars, to be dropped.

I resent the inevitable consequences the second law of thermodynamics has on my tea and the entropy of the universe. It always happens too damn soon.

apologies to anyone who ever thought i was cool and reached out to me only to discover i am just a weird little hermit who can't carry on a conversation to save my life

apologies to anyone who ever thought I was cool.

apologies to anyone who ever thought

the concept of how sir arthur conan doyle was as a person always sends me into fits. imagine making the most famous literary character of all time but you hate the character so much you try to kill him off. but everyone is so horny for this asshole detective they make you bring him back. even your own mother gets mad when he’s dead because she likes him. raising your prices to ridiculous rates to avoid writing holmes stories backfired and now you’re rich. it’s absolutely a pain because it’s keeping you from your true passion which is spiritualism despite how one of your good friends harry houdini keeps telling you it’s bullshit. you consider your best novels to be historical ones but they’re well over shadowed by the nemesis of your own creation sherlock fucking holmes. some fake photographs from some kids convinced you faeries were real and you wrote a whole book about it. you started writing stories in medical school. and yes, also you are a doctor. after you’re dead, they erect a statue of sherlock holmes across the street from your birthplace, causing you to probably roll over one hundred eighty degrees in your grave and scream into your casket pillow.

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

CANNOT stop thinking about the Josh fight. Over 100 guys named josh got together to fight with pool noodles and they all decided that the winner was a five year-old so tiny the Burger King crown was too big for him. And they lifted him into the air and cheered like he was Simba. Earth is a good place to be after all

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”