When I was four I told my mom I didnt feel like a girl. I didnt know trans people existed. My mom acted transphobicly towards me from that point.
Growing up I was always "too masculine" my parents were trying to force me to be feminine. Schoolmates would ask me about my "secret penis" and be more physically violent with me over other "girls". And cis women would touch me and use me however they felt because they knew I couldn't retaliate.
When I told my friends that my girlfriend was being abusive, they laughed and told me in full confidence that, that couldn't have happened. After all she's just so fem! And Im just so not.
The people that upheld gender rolls around me were not just men or my parents. Everyone is imbued with misogyny. Your parents dont care you dont shave your legs? Well your classmates will. A male teacher is sexist? Dont worry he'll just get a female teacher in to do the misogyny for him and tell all the girls in class how they look like little sluts.
Then I came out as trans and got on hormones and suddenly I'm not man enough. Everyone has to give me advice on how to be a "real man". I need to do the Manly Activities and stop doing the Girly Activities. (Never a woman tho. A dangerous man or a confused girl is all a trans man gets to be)
Is this a typical female socialization? I doubt it. Just like I doubt that trans women have a typical "male socialization"
Everyone grows up with misogyny. Everyone has to unlearn misogyny. Everyone has to unlearn toxic masculinity. Being AFAB does not make someone immune to being misogynistic.
What makes you think growing up as a trans woman excludes them from these kinds of experiences? We know toxic masculinity is toxic but somehow that doesn't apply?
Little girls will be shamed for their appearance no matter what. Little trans girls are shamed for existing. A masculine girl can wear a fully gender neutral outfit and look like a boy. Because boy clothes are default. A trans girl cannot dress in one single item of girls clothes without being mocked. Theres a whole category of bits where a boy accidentally wears something for girls and is humiliated for it. (Because girl clothing has to have different buttons and pockets, lest you mix up the paper thin see through top and shapeless bag with armholes)
Being expected to always perform masculinity drives me crazy and I am a man. How do you think a little girl would feel in that role?
Think of every single "male socialization" thing (backbone, confidence, condescension, misogynistic, over-sexual, lazy, aggressive) that has been tacked onto trans women and ask yourself: "Is there not a million cis women I can think of that do that too?" If the answer you find is no, you are lying to yourself or you have some misogyny to work on. If the answer is yes, stop telling trans women that they are male socialized and stop saying that they are mansplaning or being a manchild. There are words for that, that involve no men (because women do it too)
TLDR: If you use "male socialization" as a weapon against trans women, or think that they were privileged for their childhoods, you should change as a person.
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