have you ever *really* seen a bird?

IT

FUCKEN

WIMDY

[Stomping around the kitchen talking into a landline phone] Oh, look who came crawling back. You nevah call, you nevah write, but now all of a sudden you've got time for your poor, sick mother. What kind of trouble did you get yourself in now? Was it that wizard and his tomes again? Oh, no, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear about any "unspeakable curse" or any "demon runeblade" or any "infernal demon-knights of Kal'Nurothas" or whatevah. You're just like your fathah.

"Ma! Ma, there'sa fuckin DRAGON outsideah the apahtment! MA!"

in my sickly haze I somehow installed 2 tumblrs

so interesting news but after using both for a bit, while they initially seemed the same, it has become clear that the right tumblr app takes place in a timeline where 9/11 did not happen

is it better there

you might think so but you'll never believe what happened on 9/12

new war crime invented: the guy from cha cha slide saying "800,000,000 hops this time" cursing all who hear into an undending hell of hops

Dancing plague of 1518

(consumed with lust voice) omg what a fucking weirdo

in court

Blonde hair is so romanticized and sought after and brown hair is considered plain but consider: we’ve actually got eyebrows.

SD:LKFM WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?