Distorted Stars

I am sick and tired of seeing all of these endogenic identities that are LITERALLY JUST P-DID REPACKAGED.

I was on Pinterest a bit ago, and saw "proxy system" which is defined as "a system where one functions as a singlet (or approximately close to one, such as a median system) due to a frontstuck host, yet all members of the system are completely distinct in headspace."

That's literally just P-DID...

A "Median system" or a "Proxy system" is literally just P-DID repackaged to fit an endogenic narrative. It is stripping people of understanding themselves better, but these vague descriptions are leading non-pwCDD's into thinking that they're a system which can be harmful for them. It can lead to so many mental issues, especially if you're already prone to psychosis.

No, you aren't a "median system" or a "proxy system" you are a P-DID system or a singlet with varying internal dialogue / monologue that has been mislead into believing that they are something that they are not.

I'm bored so system asks time! (And I'm crazy so I'm making my own) Send an emoji in our asks and we'll answer that question!

🎨 - How did you come up with your system name?

🖋️ - Do you have a collective identity? If yes how did your system decide on those things?

💾 - What is your headcount?

❤️ - What type of CDD do you have?

🧡 - Are you diagnosed? If not, do you plan to?

💛 - Do you have a high or low split tolerance?

💚 - Is your system introject heavy or have little to no introjects?

💙 - Who are your frequent fronters?

💜 - Do you switch frequent or go longer periods between switches?

🌠 - How much amnesia do you experience?

🎶 - Can you switch 'on command' or is that hard for your system? Does it vary between alters?

⚔️ - Is there anyone in your system you don't get along with?

🌺 - Are you 'out' to anyone as a system?

🖤 - Do any of your alters have things that are just theirs or is everything shared within your system?

"I'm really sorry that lockdown and the ongoing pandemic interrupted pivotal educational and social/emotional development moments for you. You have an uphill battle towards adjusting to a lot of community based efforts because you experienced a mass trauma during an incredibly important time in your life where you should have physically been around your peers learning to engage in shared community. There is no "but" here, I'm genuinely really sorry. Something many of us consider key points in our interpersonal growth as youths was taken from you, not without reason but without care for its impact on you. I hope you know we are eternally allies in our struggles and if that is something you struggle to know I hope you can learn it someday."

Because so many of the angriest, most disenfranchised people I see on this website are under 24 and I often try to put younger people's behavior in the context of where they might have been 2020. I've seen the impact on my siblings and their peers+friends first hand, all ages 18-24. We've talked about how its impacted them, the isolation, the attachment to the internet, the anxieties and phobias and fears it developed in them due to the pandemic, the political unrest, and the responses to both that we've seen since. I know they're not the only ones and I know how much being marginalized also influences that impact too.

Now, in my mind, amnesia meant everything sort of went black and you’d come to days later without a clue of what had happened or where you were. And while, that absolutely can be the case for some— it wasn’t for me.

Amnesia for me is much more complex. The gaps of memory I loose are patched together by the things that I do remember. My mind may omit half the day, but because I can remember the other half, it doesn’t feel as if I’ve lost any time truly. My mind worked overtime to hide how much time I was loosing, simply because if I knew, I don’t think the past version of myself would’ve handled it very well. </3

Hell we very closely skirted around identifying as endogenic initially because of a whole lot of thinking our trauma wasn't "bad enough."

We went down the OSDD route instead and kinda just.. ignored the trauma bit for a while, and while we still aren't diagnosed (would like pursue that eventually but aren't currency able) we're pretty sure we actually have DID.

It was wild

What is it about discord that makes us so much more comfortable with system stuff-

- "can you make [alter] front?"

- always asking who's fronting

- getting upset when they can't remember something

VERY supportive to your system friends:

- giving them money

- "here's $50 for you"

- relinquishing your money to them