The Duchess of Dork

In French we don’t say “Marry me,” we say ted cruz est le tueur du zodiaque which roughly translates to “Let us never separate” and I think that’s truly beautiful

Lolololol!

What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?

My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually

Yeah this is actually pretty much exactly what is going on. It’s why anti-oxidants are such a big deal. Bonus fact: oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or, in other words, it’s not toxic, just setting you on fire very very slowly.

What if there are aliens out there but they subsist on entirely different substances and they’re just scared as shit of us and our crazy ass hell planet? Once in a while some alien anthropologist type suggests checking out the people on this inhabited planet out towards the galaxy’s edge. The other aliens just look at the naive academic with horror. No!! We do not go to that world. That is where the DEATH BREATHERS live. They recreationally consume poisons and are more or less composed of biological fire. Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel. We must leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace. Do not go there. Do not.

I tend to always reblog posts about humans being terrifying weirdos to aliens.

@brainsforbabyjesus

I am physically required to reblog this or my heart will stop beating.

oh my god

:D

May 15th, Pitches!

What is this bullshit?

100% SUPPORT THIS.

Forever reblog.

greggs is serious business, trust

Would kill for a Greggs right now.

Knowing Tina Fey, that was not a coincidence.

WAIT I don’t know these dolls very well but is that Molly? Which is, as we know, Kimmy’s favorite American Girl Doll?

Brilliant.