The dungeon crawler Carl experience
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trying on a metaphor
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@wonderali
The dungeon crawler Carl experience

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One of the things that impressed me the most about Dungeon Crawler Carl (mind you, I went in with zero expectations) is that not only it manages to turn a talking cat into fully realized, complex character who is still unmistakably *a cat*, but also that the cental relationship of the series - this kind of strong, unshakable bond between the main characters that never fails to make you emotional over how much they mean for each other - is unmistakably a relationship between a man and a cat. Not just nominally, but in a way that is instantly recognizable for anyone who ever owned and loved a cat. And mind you, it's not for the lack of other relationships - Carl finds new friends and comrades, and each of them is important for him in their own right, but still THE most important person in his life is a cat and as a cat person I think that's beautiful
Middle-aged magical girl.
She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.
My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.
she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations
Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.
Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.
Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!
Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?
Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.
Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p
Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?
Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!
She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.
Assigned magic girl at birth
[Image ID: Tumblr reblog from thembo-x reading: I resent the idea that 29 is middle-aged /End ID]
Every year I watch that white boy go, with no way of warning him. No way of letting him know. Helplessly watching him devour his paprika chicken before journeying the road to his doom. Don’t go, white boy. Don’t go.
Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as
- sneezed wrong
- turned your neck a little too fast
- slept weird
- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual
- breathed
- failed to breathe properly
- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time
- looked too hard at something too far away
- knees

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Happy May the Fourth to this tweet specifically
Settle a bet.
Who wins in a fight?
Kronk
Gaston
soooo true bestie
NO ONE GETS THEIR ASS BEAT IN A POLL LIKE GASTON
gaston is toxic masculinity and kronk is non-toxic masculinity
In honor of Carrie and Star Wars Day. May the force be with you!
Stabilize our trajectory please
Pitch up
Pitch down
Left rudder
Right rudder
Left roll
Right roll
No1 engine thrust
No2 engine thrust
Flap angle
Altitude
I just wanna see how we crash this plane
# of likes = # of passengers on board
# of reblogs = # of flight hours the pilots have
Good luck soldiers
i would die for this thing
he's called Rise (like earth rise, the best fucking space picture ever) and he's the ZGI (zero gravity indicator) for this launch
which basically means they have a plushie free floating in the shuttle and when it starts floating around they know they're in zero gravity :3
WHEEEE!!!!!! YIPPEEEE!!!!!!! SPAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!

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Actual roman epitaph for a dog
humans are the same
I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).
Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,
   Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.
Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille
   Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.
Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem
   Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis
Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,
   Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.
Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas
  Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,
Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,
   Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,
Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter
And here’s my translation:
Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years). For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck. I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human. Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself! You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps. You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you. Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...
tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved. (another translation with some glossing of the text.)
It's the fact she's joined to them in death, it's the fact that she sat in her owner's arms and ate their food. That he held the cups down for her to drink from....
Hundreds of years and we still know she was loved. We still know how she liked to sleep. All these years!! Loving dogs is the same!!!!
gonna point out too that 15 years is an INSANELY long lifespan for a dog in ancient Rome. This dog was both well loved and well cared for to have lived so long. Obvs there's going to be some statistical overlap with ancient dogs with loving epitaphs having longer lifespans, but in a world without modern vetrinary science or medicine, no canine vaccines, and no nutritionally formulated dog food, this Roman's beloved pooch exceeded even the average pet dog lifespan today.
Eartha Kitt by Gordon Parks (1952)
making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time
This is just objectively hilarious
Watching the process of this absolutely stunning painting makes it even more beautiful.
The artist is Sydney Swisher

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"And he gave it to me for free, Bob!"
I saw this on bsky last night and had to draw the guy
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