me: 🧍🏽♂️
my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

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Cosimo Galluzzi
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

⁂
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YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
$LAYYYTER

Janaina Medeiros

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@thedandycrickette
me: 🧍🏽♂️
my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

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the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else
what "no sugar added" should mean: the natural sugars of the other ingredients like fruit are the only source of sweetness in this product
what is actually means: we added a fuckton of artificial sweeteners
i see we are all angry about this
@artemispanthar
finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

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the hottest thing a guy can be is barely conscious on the floor while someone lifts his head up by the hair so that you can see his glazed out eyes and the blood running down his face
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
there's something to be said about characters whose deep wells of love and devotion are connected to equally deep wells of violence, particularly when the dam between those wells bursts
BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP
the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

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Some of you are like "I'm fine with Jews just so long as they don't live in communities too large or have too much money or build community infrastructure or hold any political power or or or"
Bro was THIS close to calling air bud a slur
i hope i am not just an online presence to you all but also someone who has a really bad headache
When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"
[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]
Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

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Oh, to be a little kitten who just got vaccinated and then taken to a high-end restaurant and tasted the best food the chefs could offer and then fell asleep in a basket.
The wall of durian to keep them off the table!
@kittybroker ... ?
Have fun with this bathtub delight now reduced for only $19.87!