it’s just a bad dream

Kiana Khansmith
taylor price
Stranger Things
Cosmic Funnies

blake kathryn
Peter Solarz

JVL
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

@theartofmadeline
todays bird
Show & Tell
Monterey Bay Aquarium

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

Discoholic 🪩
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
DEAR READER

seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from Colombia

seen from Colombia

seen from Colombia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
@theclosetskeletons
it’s just a bad dream

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hi! you have very smart things to say about the locked tomb, and this question has been bugging me for a bit: what do you think of the fact that Muir draws more attention to sexual harassment in nona? both nona and cam are sexually harassed in a way that didn't entirely happen in gideon or harrow, and i think it was a definite choice on muir's part to include those scenes
This is really good, and I think there are a number of narrative facets in play that help explain it, the first one being the relatively straightforward fact that sexual violence is at the heart of Muir's work and has been all along; as the series begins to seriously mobilise its themes in coming towards its close, it makes sense that explicit references to sexual violence would move to the fore of the narrative to increase the pressure around that thematic nodal point. Nona, to me, felt like a book that was rife with references to sexual violence not only in the forms that you signify but also in, for example:
The language used to describe how Nona relates to her body and her selfhood; the image of her with her hand clutched between her thighs wishing that she could mutilate her body enough that nobody except herself could ever 'want' it and force her to rescind ownership over it, then developing into the entrapment that Alecto feels in a body that she was made to live in against her will;
The connection drawn between John's resurrection(s) + reanimations and sexual violence, figuring each act as boiling down to the same essential discourse; the language used to describe the reanimation of U— and T— (Ulysses and Titania) includes references to them as '[his] kids,' and the image of their being 'breached' with a thermometer causes the process to double as one of penetration; the 'creation' of Alecto reads as something close to a rape (arguably a play on the double meaning of 'rape' as pillage and 'rape' as sexual assault, a very easy in for interrogating the relationship between colonial and sexual violences), eg. 'I was terrified you'd find some way to escape before I was done,' and of course 'Fuck, Marry, Kill' becoming 'Marry, Kill, Reanimate.' I explained all this in more depth in the linked essay, hence why I've just glossed it here lol
That the entire John section is, to me, one long reference to Lolita right down to the unreliable narration, the standouts being: that significant conversations take place on a beach (the 'kingdom/princedom by the sea'), the 'creation' of Alecto that mirrors the constructing of Lolita, the J+E/A/H again echoing how names as signifiers of sexual ownership are used in the book;
That, corroborated with the reading of John and Alecto's relationship as having been (definitely metaphorically, perhaps literally) one of sexual abuse, the thing that, to put it crassly, 'makes' Alecto and 'unmakes' Nona – the thing which distinguishes the two – is the reminder that 'John loves [her], John needs [her].' (Crucially, it's not just the naming here – by the time this line is spoken, Kiriona has already referred to Alecto as Alecto out loud.) Assuming that this plays with the (accidentally?) sinister line in Annabel Lee which runs: 'And this maiden, she lived with no other thought / Than to love and be loved by me,' we see the last third or so of Nona run up to Nona remembering something that terrifies her to confront: "I’ll be different. I’ll remember everything … I’ll remember the thing I’m trying to forget. And Palamedes—I won’t love him. I won’t love Camilla, or Pyrrha, or Hot Sauce, or even Noodle. I won’t love anything … I won’t know how. I won’t be me at all, or … I’ll be the me who knows the thing." I can't find the post so apologies for lifting someone else's take, but a while back someone else noted that Nona knows how to kiss gently – as she does to Kiriona – whereas Alecto only knows mouth-biting and 'how meat loves meat.'
I could go on and on and on about how Nona is a book about sexual trauma and the conditions under which sexual violence is made both possible and socially passable, but like, I've done that elsewhere. The point is: Nona is a book about sexual violence, but it's able to be a book about sexual violence because the groundwork was already laid in its predecessors. The immediate textual presence of sexual violence in Nona feels a lot less jarring or abrupt when you consider, eg.:
The figuring of the necromancer/cavalier relationship as one necessarily of inequality, discursively built from the relationship between John and Alecto (which is in turn built off of Lolita's rendition of Annabel Lee…..); that cavalierhood as a subject position, when done 'correctly,' invites a certain measure of sexual objectification (cf. Cytherea) as part of that degrading practice;
Gideon and Cytherea, specifically, is the twofold grooming literal (through the seduction of an eighteen year old on the part of someone significantly older than her under false pretences figured with predatory and fetishistic language) and grooming into 'correct' cavalierhood (with 'correct' cavalierhood in turn then leading to, well, death);
John and Alecto as Annabel Lee and the unnamed narrator, which in turn figures them as Humbert and Dolores; similarly, John's positioning himself as a surrogate father to Harrow in Harrow (and how closely that practice echoes The Magician's Apprentice!).
(Sorry for all the bullet points, it's just the easiest way to organise my thoughts without dropping more big blocks of text on the dash than I have to.) Like, it doesn't feel anywhere near as out of left field when you notice that the thing the text has been building from all along is a social paradigm to which sexual violence is an essential property.
And like, besides a general gesture towards 'developing themes,' I think the bluntness with which sexual violence is placed in front of us in Nona comes in tandem with the fact that Nona is the book where the voice and action alike as we receive them are no longer limited to the solipsism of empire. Nona is the first time we as readers are permitted to properly move out of the imperial core, and in giving us a glimpse of an occupied planet (and references to other such occupations), we get as straightforward an account of what living under imperialism looks like. Like, Nona succeeds in giving its cast of non-empire characters rich and wilful and agentive lives without shying away from the facts of their situation; if anything, these two aspects are woven together to great effect. Before now, we've only ever received accounts of the empire beyond the core, ie. occupied land, through imperial figures, and were expected to deduce that the occupations taking place were, as would be any imperial occupation, violent; Nona removes a cultural shield that existed in the first two books, and makes that violence about as explicit as it can possibly be.
In the empire itself, there's a somewhat fantastical sheen to the world the books occupy that makes it almost a little ridiculous at points. It's highly aestheticised and atomised (down to the Nine Houses with their corresponding cultures and colours and elaborate titles and numerical surnames), and that aestheticisation is archaic: swords, chivalry, duchesses and ladies and lords and the language of a feudal nobility to which fascist aesthetics can often turn. Sexual violence takes place through elaborate socially sanctioned relations within the nobility (Gideon and Cytherea and John and Alecto – and, I would argue, Corona and Ianthe – each as paradigmatically necromancer/cavalier) such that the fact of it can be kind of … kicked under the carpet, at least diegetically. I think there's real weight thrown behind what John says to Harrow in one of the John chapters:
He said, I guess you could say … we had beef.
When she did not laugh he said, “I can’t believe nobody’s ever going to laugh at my jokes again. I can’t believe it. It’s all gone, I’m the only one left. It’s just me and you and no more jokes.”
Like … it's stopped being funny. The jokes don't land anymore; John's "She didn’t laugh. I laughed. He said, I guess I’ve always thought any pun was automatically funny" echoes Gideon's having "assumed that puns were funny automatically" from two books ago (lmao, like father like daughter!), but the key thing is that this time the joke doesn't land the way the one about Gideon was able to. It's an immensely revealing echo of what was originally just a slightly cringe throwaway line – the narrative terms have changed. In-universe, this is because we're meeting John in what is effectively a wasteland after the death of his last three friends; for us, this is the point where a lot of the kind of silly stuff from the last two books (the jokes, the memes, the skeletons, whatever) starts hitting a brick wall because those things were intended as obfuscatory devices occluding violence. (Nona is definitely still a funny book, but it lacks that particular, like … campy silliness that the other two had. Which, imo, is to this exact purpose.) My point is, like, Nona is blunt about sexual violence because Nona is the point where obfuscation and deflection and cultural normativity all just stop working.
I once saw @olreid refer to Alecto as 'the madwoman in the attic of the Nine Houses' and that phrase has stuck with me for MONTHS, because – I mean! Nona is about finally confronting the things that John's elaborate cultural constructions and elevated language were trying to shunt out of sight. Sexual violence can hover at the edges of the narrative in Gideon and Harrow, appearing to us through elaborate cultural rituals such as those taking place between Gideon and Cytherea or through John's references to Poe's poetry, in a manner that diegetically disguises the violence as violence, but Nona is Muir saying, like – you got what this was, right? You got what was really going on here? If I take away the cultural gloss placed over it, will you see it for what it is?
So like, in short: sexual violence emerges abruptly and explicitly in Nona because it is the point at which Muir begins to really heavily foreground a theme that she has been sowing throughout, and a lot of the barefacedness of the fact is in keeping with the barefacedness of violence in the broader sense throughout the book, as we move away from the solipsism of empire and are finally asked as readers to grapple with its material consequences.
This was such a great question to receive because I'd literally been thinking about this earlier today, lmao. Thank you!
one v clear manifestation of fandom racism is the ease with which a character can be labelled a "war criminal" (w/ no effort to problematise this language, of course) and an imperialist -- and often thus memeified as such -- by the same people who will shy away from talking about that character as eg. a misogynist, a perpetrator of sexual assault, as though the gravitas behind that sort of language is offputting in a way that the first set of language wasn't. rape is very serious but imperialism is a funny ha ha moment and neither has anything to say about the other, speaking discursively. this post is about john gaius
wait when does john gaius commit sexual assault
WHEN DOES JOHN GAIUS COMMIT SEXUAL ASSAULT
it's not something that happens in the text, at least not at this time (march 2024, pre-atn). it's a metaphor. someone else could probably do a more cohesive post on this but for those that would like to read meta about this particular facet of john's character and/or the general themes of sexual violence in tlt because tumblr search is shit:
op's (soon-to-be posted) meta on tlt intertexts
john gaius and misogyny
imperialism in tlt as a metaphor for sexual assault
john and grooming
the necro-cav binary
op's post on imperialism and sexual assault regarding ntn
op's post on sexual harassment in ntn
alecto as the first cavalier and the precedent for cavaliers to be subservient written into the prose
john gaius as a narrator and similarities with humbert humbert
op's post on the avulsion scene from gtn and sexual violence in tlt in general
john as a narrator again
another post by op on the gtn avulsion scene and the ntn entropy field scene
post by op on consent and harrow's body
"love" and imperialism in tlt
if I see one more "why age verification is bad" post that doesn't even bother to mention that locking young people out of huge sections of the public sphere - literally the stated goal and primary impact of this shit - is wrong in and of itself I will simply start hitting people with bricks
yes yes biometric data privacy blah blah adults can hypothetically by harmed by this too. what about the immediate and deliberate and not at all hypothetical harm to youth. why are you acting like a potential data leak about what your face looks like, which if it ever happened would at least be generally recognised as a problem, is a more serious issue than cutting millions of people off from information and community and public expression which is happening right now in the open with large scale support
it's got the stench of fucking "banned books week" on it. thousands of adults congratulating themselves for reading books literally no one is trying to stop them from reading while doing nothing to improve access for the young people who are the ones actually having those books made off-limits to them.
[ID: a screenshot of a comic speech bubble. The black text in it reads "No matter how open-minded, socially conscious, anti-racist I think I am, I still have old learned hidden biases that I need to examine. It is my responsibility to check myself daily for my stereotypes, prejudices and, ultimately, discrimination." /ID end]
antiracism is a constant process. i was raised in a racist village and it's not easy to get rid of it. i moved away over 10 years ago but those ideas are still haunting me.
also keep in mind that shame + guilt are not conducive to growing as a person. when it comes to "checking yourself" it should be a non-judgemental process. it's not about flagellating yourself for every bad thought or trying to purify your mind of all corruption. it's only when acknowledging your own racist thoughts doesn't fill you with dread that you can really progress past the white guilt of it all.
radical self-acceptance & genuine self-critique are not opposites. they need each other. do not let obsessive-compulsive behaviors colonize your desire to grow as a person.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
unfortunately i can never hate on a "power of friendship" narrative no matter how corny because the thing is it's literally real
Tell me to grow wings, and we'll fly out of this stupid town!
let's be free
rule breakers
Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet?
It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.
Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys
#if you want the pedantic answer bc I’ve actually researched this for my thesis#there doesn’t seem to be a for sure agreed upon origin of the phrase BUUUUUT#it seems to be a combo of two earlier phrases ‘coming out’ and ‘skeletons in the closet’#coming out started to be used by gay men in 1920s new york bc a “coming out” was the 1st time a debutante would debut into the dating scene#so gay men would have their “coming out” when they first went onto the gay dating scene#a skeleton in your closet is a shameful/dirty secret that would often only be revealed once a person died#for a lot of queer people their queerness was something they literally took to the grave#so being ‘in the closet’ meant you were the skeleton in your closet#I couldn’t find an exact confirmation of when the phrases began to be combined but it seems to be around early 1970s gay liberation movemen#at the time a popular protest chant was ‘out of the closet and into the streets’#which I think also helped to popularize the term#I’m putting all this in the tags bc I realize this is a silly post that is meant as a joke and I didn’t wanna ruin the punchline#but I also wanted to provide an answer for those who were curious

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
it must be said that i simply love to watch a character destroy all their relationships in an attempt to get what they think they want only to achieve their goals and be lonelier and more depressed than ever. and to realize they can never go back and are trapped at the top of the hill playing their part. its the dream you never wake up from!!
thanks for walking me home
* KEEP GOING
I can't believe it took me this long to post these I finished this like nine months ago
An idea I had for Blood of Eden propaganda/recruitment posters featuring some of our favorite guys - combo of digital-print cyberpunk graphic design style with oldschool Saturday Morning Post covers like you'd see Leyendecker paintings on
I was gonna post these ahead of tabling at a small con and selling prints of them but ended up not tabling because turns out grad school is hard
maybe next year... figured tumblr would like though

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you should have seen me a couple of years ago!
I added pictures to try and explain the cartoon better!