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So, after my first post on here, I got in touch with my Godmother who is a devout Catholic and my go-to for any mental health crisis I am having. I asked her if it was okay to pray the rosary even while being in a state of mortal sin and continuing to be in mortal sin. Her response was a real eye opener for me and I believe that God had intervened. She told me that that is when I should pray the most and to always pray because it keeps your connection to God. The devil wants you to think, "Well, what is the point of praying if I am going to sin anyway?" which was what I thought.

The devil wants you to be disconnected to God. As long as you keep praying to the Holy Father he can help you with whatever you need. It is then just about making the commitment to accept change because he is always speaking to you, but do you really want listen to him and accept his help you turn away from your sins?

What is Advent?

The people of Israel waited for generations for the promised Messiah to arrive. Their poetry, their songs and stories, and their religious worship focused on an awaited savior who would come to them to set them free from captivity and to lead them to the fulfillment of all that God had promised.

Israel longed for a Messiah, and John the Baptist, who came before Jesus, promised that the Messiah was coming and could be found in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, the “Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.”

Advent is a season in the Church’s life intended to renew the experience of waiting and longing for the Messiah. Though Christ has already come into the world, the Church invites us to renew our desire for the Lord more deeply in our lives and to renew our desire for Christ’s triumphant second coming into the world.

Advent is the time in which we prepare for Christmas, the memorial of Jesus Christ being born into the world. Preparations are practical, like decorating trees and gift giving, but they’re also intended to be spiritual.

During Advent, we’re invited to enter more frequently into silence, into prayer and reflection, into Scripture, and into the sacramental life of the Church — all to prepare for celebrating Christmas.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says the goal of Advent is to make present for ourselves and our families the “ancient expectancy of the Messiah ... by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming.”

More explanation on the website below:

"We Don't Have Time Left..."

"We don't have time left and God will judge us for what we have done [and] what we have failed to do. It's never too late to repent and turn around... never too late to repent and live a holy life and live out your vocation."

I am a Catholic woman who is by all means NOT a perfect child of God.

This diary is not to portray myself as one but to ask questions and write down my thoughts as I am on this continuous spiritual journey and maybe other people can relate.

I am not a Catholic role model.

I converted to Catholicism back in 2018. It was the best decision I have ever made as I love the Catholic Church and it's teachings, but throughout the years, I have sinned, confessed, and sinned again to the point where yes, I still love my faith, but it doesn't do well to play back and forth with God or Mother Church (even though I always get a nudge from the Holy Spirit - which means God never gives up on us no matter how much we sin or turn away - He is always there), and so I ceased going to Mass even though I have a desire or an urge from God to do so, I have the nudge or urge to pray and I fail to do so, and overall became a lazy Catholic and feeling that if I can't go all the way and not even try, then what is the point.

Is it okay to pray the rosary in a state or mortal sin? I pondered this yesterday as I had the urge to pray the rosary as I was starting to make the habit of praying everyday. I debated whether to pray or not because of all my sin and my knowing that I will continue to sin. I looked online and I read something that stood out to me. It went around the lines of that there are two types of rosary prayers: Those that pray everyday and continue to reap the benefits of it and those who cease because of their sins. I think I convinced myself not to pray by looking that up on Google, but, what is the point if all I am going to do is sin again. Though I wouldn't necessarily cared and would pray anyway, the mind is a dangerous weapon that the enemy can play with. We can get to that in another entry. I haven't been to confession in a while or Mass. I want to be a better Catholic and child of God. So, I ask that whoever is reading this, my fellow Catholics, to please pray for me.