Green's yellow sideblog

wizard fact of the day: you can’t legally kill me!

Oh yeah watch this *Hip thrust with murderous intent*

elvis i will put you back in the orb i swear

the plot chickens (becomes scared of its own premise)

DC Twitter must have been INSANE when it got out that Superboy’s dads were Superman and Lex Luthor. Holy shit. The memes. The ship wars. The homophobes. The mpreg jokes. People would have lost their fucking minds. Lex Luthor releases a statement like “he’s a clone of me and Superman no birth was involved” and people are like KINDA GAY OF YOU TO HAVE A SON WITH ANOTHER MAN, LUTHOR. Lexcorp’s PR team locks themselves in a conference room and refuses to come out for love or money.

This is my favorite series of posts on this hellsite

okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING

I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.

FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that

this is the only good head canon I've ever had tbh

I do fucking love Ranni so much, hilarious character. Steals death to kill her half brother. Discards her original body to look like a cute little blue doll instead. Lies to the Tarnished, who presumably just arrived in the country and who none of this means anything to, about her name for some reason. When confronted later, immediately brazenly admits she lied to you, and also that she's the one who had Godwyn assassinated, which somehow no one had figured out before. Sees through the Tarnished and Rogier's plan immediately, but still lets them work for her (because "there's nothing wrong with a well-laid scheme", but is it really that well-laid if you already know what our goal is?). Says shit like "I shall soon enter my slumber". Literally turns into a pocket-sized version of herself and gets so fucking pissed off when you see through that "disguise". You can marry her in game, and she'll give you a sword for it. Did I forget anything

I don't care about Dungeon Meshi otherwise but "Tallmen" is SUCH an elegant solution to placing humans in a fantasy setting that it's still blowing my mind. Just the term itself is enough to instantly recontextualize humans. They're no longer the default race. They're those big goobers with long legs, striding about all the time. I can so easily envision much more interesting relationships between humans and non-humans because of it. Like perhaps "tallmen" are stereotyped as shepherds by other races because they can watch over their flocks better, or as vagabonds because they are better suited to long travel on foot. And of course, they don't *literally* have to be taller than everybody else, they were just the tallest around whenever the label became the norm, or something like that. I just feel like it's so much better than what I've seen in settings like D&D that go "and humans are the... adaptable, generalist people :)!"

spell slots are stored in the boobs

How is there a relevant comic strip?