apologizing in advance

I have GOT to stop spending $30

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[Image ID: Three identical illustrations of a lily of the valley, in three different shades of green. There are sparkles around the flowers of the plant. /End image ID.]

living in your parents house as an adult is a humiliation ritual why am i in the group chat at 23 years old going “I HATE MY DAD”

I hate how 3 pm is so close to 2 pm so there's an illusion that there's still time left in the day to do things but in reality 3 pm is also close to 4 pm and if it's close to 4 pm you might as well just wait till tomorrow. <- can't argue against this by the way.

you've been summoned for july duty

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit