apologizing in advance

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

invented a new word today. its 'plagiarism'. im a genius i know

if my name was "wolfgang amadeus" i would also be getting a lot of shit done

(with unconstrained lust and heart shaped pupils) hey. I liked your wordplay.

creative droughts are so embarrassing yeah sorry man I forgot my shapes and colors

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

by all means. but also by all niceys

i legiterately always feel like that person on reddit who posted "is it weird if i go on a walk like is everyone gonna be freaked out". i feel like that every minute of every day

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

"i don't know.. that's scary.." has become such a core part of my vocabulary that I forget people will not immediately understand that I'm making a reference when i say that

OCD is just coming up with insane fanfiction about yourself in your own head and getting really really scared even though you literally just made it up. you're making breakfast and your brain is like "okay I headcanon that I secretly want to run someone over with a car and that I have colon cancer." and you're like ohhh my goooddd that could be true [3 hour panic attack]

clocking in at the don’t ruminate on it factory