apologizing in advance

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

by all means. but also by all niceys

i legiterately always feel like that person on reddit who posted "is it weird if i go on a walk like is everyone gonna be freaked out". i feel like that every minute of every day

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

"i don't know.. that's scary.." has become such a core part of my vocabulary that I forget people will not immediately understand that I'm making a reference when i say that

OCD is just coming up with insane fanfiction about yourself in your own head and getting really really scared even though you literally just made it up. you're making breakfast and your brain is like "okay I headcanon that I secretly want to run someone over with a car and that I have colon cancer." and you're like ohhh my goooddd that could be true [3 hour panic attack]

clocking in at the don’t ruminate on it factory

(guy who can draw horses and hands easily but can't draw hugs or kisses to save his life) yeah I just like it when the characters are just standing next to each other. no need to make their adoration too obvious you know. and I turned this one into a centaur,

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

They should let me have a wicked grin on photo ID just so the cashier knows who they're dealing with.

recent epidemic of adaptations that take lots of liberties with the source material and also, separately, are bad. but then if you say "this is bad" you get hit with "you're just being a source material purist and you don't understand the vision"...like. well actually I think it rules when people do new and different things with classic works. I just think these particular new and different things suck ass.