The Blushing Raven

It's been forgotten amidst all of the other crazy things happening that the US government is still paying about $1 million dollars a day to have dozens of bored young white guys in tactical camouflage walk circles around the touristy areas of the nation’s capital. Here’s one of the several units that was on patrol:

Unlike ICE and friends, the Guard doesn’t really have the legal authority to do anything other than assisting other law enforcement when they see something happening. The fact that they rarely interact with residents means that they haven’t caused many big controversies, so their presence has become “normal” in a way which is distinct from the other feds. ICE entering your neighborhood is like a wild bear coming through— everyone takes notice and is concerned for their safety. But the Guard entering your neighborhood is like a group of bumblebees passing by— they seem scary, but they rarely ever sting unless you purposefully bother them, so just leave them alone and they’ll be gone soon enough.

With a vow to destroy the abomination she had created if it was the last thing she ever did, television host Oprah Winfrey has spent weeks on a ship pursuing Dr. Phil through the Arctic, sources reported Tuesday.

Sailors aboard the vessel confirmed that while Winfrey appeared ill and exhausted from continuous exposure to the harsh tundra, she nonetheless spent hour upon hour peering through a brass spyglass and scanning the desolate landscape for any sign of the grotesque TV personality and formerly licensed therapist. Despite the heavy winds and raging sea, the 71-year-old media entrepreneur reportedly urged the ship’s captain to press northward.

Gonna make one hundred soups this year. Starting off with kapustnyak, carrot soup, chickpea soup, and parsnip soup.

Can't stop won't stop. 15 soups so far.

Four new BEAN BASED SOUPS, the first one trailblazing because it was a taco soup recipe courtesy of @alex-of-1000-dumbasseries. 61 IN THE BAG, 39 TO GO.