TheBazaarOfDina

The definition of therapy is “a service that provides mental support to people suffering from mental problems or illnesses.” 

For me, therapy is a way of finding inner peace, talking without the fear of judgement and being comfortable with our feelings. 

In this article, I’ll be talking about my own therapy-experience: how it started, what made me cross the bridge, how it felt and how it’s impacting my life on a daily basis. 

Why therapy

I’m not going to lie, at first I was very hesitant to reach to a psychologist. I thought it was weird to have someone who doesn’t know me make assumptions about my feelings and my way of thinking. However, I really was looking for a new type of support, other than my friends and family. I felt like a burden to most people in my life but also tired of easy answers, such as “it’s life, keep going, it will get better soon”. The more time passed by, the more I sensed frustration from everyone, as if they were mad I wasn’t following their advices. The one thing they couldn’t understand is that I didn’t need a life-guide or a mentor, but just an open ear. Now I don’t want to sound unlucky or ungrateful, because I have wonderful people in my life, but sometimes you reach a point where no one around can provide you the things you’re looking for. This breaking point is the ultimate signal that made me contact a psychologist. 

The first session 

Because of the pandemic, my sessions happen online. I remember sitting in front of my laptop for the first time, wondering what the f*ck I was going to tell her. Should I introduce myself? Ask her how she’s doing? Get to know her? It was scarier than going out on a first date, I was literally sh*tting myself. But as soon as we started the session and I answered some of her questions, I felt soooo comfortable. The way she let me speak without interrupting, analysing my speech, asking for more details, helping me find a pattern in my way of thinking, made it so easy for me to trust her directly. It felt good and satisfying, to have someone de-dramatizing events you felt responsible of, putting faith in you and helping you gain self-esteem. 

The impact on my life

Ever since I started therapy I feel lighter and freer. My psychologist helps me let go of the guilt, self-shame and embarrassment I sense when remembering certain parts of my life. It helped me understand that the person I am today is not the same as last year, so I should forgive myself for past mistakes. Now I’m growing up and must focus on building the path to my future. Moreover, thanks to her advice, I started cutting off toxic friendships or any type of social contact with people who were pulling me back instead of pushing me forward. You have no idea how amazing it feels.  

My advice

First, don’t start therapy if you don’t want to open up about your past. It's never comfortable to talk about past experiences, but it does help understand your current behaviours and actions towards others.

Secondly, find a therapist you’re comfortable seeing you at your lowest. There are times when you’ll be crying for minutes non-stop, struggling to catch a breath. You can’t let go of your feelings if you don’t trust the person you're expressing your emotions to. 

And finally, keep your mind open. Don’t see therapy as a weakness but as a strength. Opening up to a complete stranger is not something everybody is willing to do, and the fact that you are trying is truly amazing.

Don’t ever forget that YOU have the power to change your life, everything depends on how hard you’re willing to try. 

Take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to follow me on Instagram (@thebazaarofdina) for more posts! 

Besos,

Après 3 semaines d’absence, je reviens avec un sujet que je juge primordial. Accepter que certaines choses de la vie ne se passent pas comme prévu et se pardonner nos erreurs, est un exercice difficile, qui demande une certaine réflexion.

1. Qu’est-ce-que c’est exactement?

 Travailler sur ta paix intérieure, pour être en accord avec ta propre personne, ne signifie pas que tu n’as pas tourné la page sur certaines choses ou personnes de ta vie. Cela veut tout simplement dire, que tu dois reconnaitre avoir une part de responsabilité dans les échecs de tes relations - amicales ou amoureuses - et te pardonner. 

2. Le pardon 

C’est tout à fait humain et normal de faire des erreurs dans la vie, ça fait partie du chemin. D’après toutes les histoires que j’entends, les personnes qui se pardonnent le moins, sont celles qui ont été dans des relations (amicales ou amoureuses) toxiques. En effet, on a tendance à se sentir honteux et coupable de s’être laissé berné par l’autre, mais surtout jugé par notre entourage. Il est temps de lâcher prise sur cette période-là de ta vie, et te pardonner, pour éviter que cela n’empiète sur tes relations futures. Rappelle-toi que si tu as tout donné dans une relation et que ça n’a pas marché, ce n’est pas du tout de ta faute, certaines personnes ne sont juste pas faites pour être ensemble. 

 3. Les inconvénients 

Replonger dans le passé n’est jamais plaisant, personne ne trouve ça agréable de se remémorer la personne que l’on était il y a quelques années/mois. Le problème est que, si tu ne fais pas la paix avec ton passé et que si t’a blessé, cela risque d’impacter tes relations futures. Si je prends mon propre exemple, j’ai peu confiance en moi quand je suis en couple, je doute de ma propre personne très souvent car j’estime que je gâche tout. Oui, c’est moche à dire mais j’y travaille. J’ai eu la chance d’être en relation avec une personne qui m’a constamment tiré vers le haut, et grâce à qui j’arrive petit-à-petit, à reconnaitre que je ne suis pas responsable de chaque petit côté négatif de ma vie. 

 4. L’entourage

Comme je l’ai expliqué avant, il est indispensable de t’entourer de personnes qui te poussent vers l’avant, et non pas qui te retiennent dans le passé. Tu mérites des personnes compréhensives et patientes, qui comprennent tes douleurs et acceptent tes défauts. La vie n’est pas facile, on a chacun nos cicatrices et nos moments de doutes, mais je te promets que quand tu trouves la bonne personne, le chemin de la guérison est moins douloureux. 

Morale de l’histoire: ton passé t’accompagnera toujours un peu, car les souvenirs restent ancrés dans la mémoire. Ton job est d’arriver à t’en détacher suffisamment pour pouvoir continuer ta vie et t’épanouir. 

I asked you guys - on my Instagram page (@thebazaarofdina) - to choose between two themes. The results were so tight, so I decided to write about them both, one after the other. 

Before starting with the main ideas, it’s important I precise why I wanted to write about intimacy. A lot of young girls and boys think that relationship = sex. Truth is, you can NEVER have anything without consent. But if you do, then something’s definitely wrong and we need to refresh your memory.

Now, let’s clear some points.

1. Dating is not an excuse 

Sharing an intimate moment with your partner should feel good for the both of you. It’s the union of your souls, an unique moment of tenderness and affection. If you ever feel forced to do ANYTHING, just so your partner doesn’t get offended, it’s not right! Where is your consent? Are you really enjoying it? Or are you doing it against your will, in order to please the other? 

It’s your right to say no. If you’re not in the mood, say no. If you don’t have enough desire, say no. If you prefer having some alone-time, say no. Don’t ever feel bad for setting your boundaries, it’s how you get respected.

2. We’re all different

When in a relationship, it shouldn’t be a problem to understand your partner’s needs, everything comes together by communicating. Now, your job is to verify that your partner feels heard and respected. Of course you want to try new things, we all do, but you have to be 100% sure your partner is down for it too. 

3. Encourage communication

Some people have such good hearts and are so scared to lose you, they won’t say anything to get you upset. Therefore, it’s also your job to help them express their thoughts and ASK “are you comfortable with this?”, “would it be okay if we do it this way?”, “tell me if you want me to stop”, etc.  The golden rule is: don’t do anything if you feel something off coming from your partner’ side. 

What I’m trying to say in this article is that consent still applies in relationships. Sex isn’t a “duty”! You’re totally free to say “no, not now.”, it’s not supposed to change anything in your relationship, you don’t need a “valid” reason not to have sex. It’s either you want it, or not. Punto final. 

PS: sharing your sexual “exploits” with your friends is totally disrespectful. Think about your partner’s privacy before acting impulsively. 

I hope you liked it! Don’t hesitate to like, share and follow me on Instagram (@thebazaarofdina) for more posts!

Have an amazing day/night,

Take care,

Balance.

I've used this word multiple times now, when talking about relationships.

In fact, your whole life should be balanced: between family and friends or friends and work, even friends and partner.

Let me explain:

The first few weeks of dating, you and your partner are inseparable: that's the honeymoon phase. Everything’s perfect, love is in the air, no grey clouds in the sky. It’s totally understandable that you want to spend every day together; you’re starting to build a relationship, it takes a lot of your time!

However, it's important you create balance between this happiness and the rest of your relationships. Your friends aren't just a moral support you "turn to" when you feel bad and put aside once you found love.

A lot of people say you should put your friends in priority. Others, don't agree. 

Well, in my opinion, it depends on your values and how you set your priorities. 

I don’t think anyone should blame you for wanting to spend a lot of time with your loved-one. We all do the same thing, let’s be honest :) Love is something magical and unpredictable so, when it happens, you want to enjoy it as much as possible! 

But, at the same time, dating isn’t supposed to change your entire life. Your friends are still here, as well as your family, and everyone close to you. You should never forget whoever helped you standing up when your legs felt too heavy, or who fought by your side when the entire world seemed against you. 

Your life is based on your relationships with people, like it or not, it’s true. Your role is to find balance between them all, in order to always be in control of your life. 

Also, remember to never take anyone for granted. People can leave as fast as they arrived. 

I hope you liked this topic and are doing fine.

See you soon, take care, 

For those who really know me, you know I try to be positive 24/7. Every time I meet someone new, I get to answer the same question: “How do you stay positive and happy all the time?”.

Truth is I’m not positive and happy all the time. I have no superpowers, I’m not stronger, I just decided to be happy. You can either torture yourself your entire life, remembering your mistakes, or decide to forgive yourself and move on. You choose. 

I’ve already said it 1000 times but it’s so important: you’ll never feel like you belong anywhere, until you're happy on your own. 

One of the reasons why I’m so positive is because I believe everything happens for a reason.

For example, I really wanted to leave next year (for good), but some things happened and made it impossible. At first I was so angry, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it wasn’t my time. Instead of crying for days, I decided to enjoy the time I have here left, with my family and friends, and I found happiness. 

Having my coffee on the balcony while writing, every morning, makes me happy. Cooking myself a nice breakfast makes me happy. Gossiping with my mom makes me happy. All the little things in your life can bring joy to your heart if you choose to accept it. Open your eyes: there is so much more than sadness, violence and anger in this world.

It is not hard to wake up every morning with a positive state of mind. I know life sucks sometimes, but it’s part of the ride. For every problem there’s a solution, if you really want to fix it. 

For >90% of us, we weren’t born with a silver spoon in our mouths. It took time and patience for our parents to build a safe home for us. Look at them as an example: you will struggle, fall, give up, start again, till you reach your dreams. 

This is life. A roller coaster of emotions that never stops. You choose : close your eyes and enjoy the ride or stress and ruin the moment. 

I hope you’re all fine and healthy.

Take care,

Dina. 

Life is all about how you treat yourself.

I know there are a lot of people who struggle to find themselves and be comfortable on their own. It’s why I wanted to share some advices with you guys. 

1. Spending time on your own

Dedicating a day to yourself means confronting your thoughts. I know it can be scary sometimes but remember: overthinking is poison. Not every thought that crosses your mind is 100% accurate when you overthink, au contraire.

Calm down, breathe and start from 0. 

What do you want to do in life? Where do you want to go next year? Who do you want to love (cause yes, love is a choice)? etc.

It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers yet. Life is a journey and has to be spontaneous, it’s so exciting!

2.  Emotional independence

I’ve already talked about this 42563 times but IT’S SO IMPORTANT!

Nowadays, people struggle to find their own happiness, which can be confusing. Do they really love you or do they need you to be okay? These are two completely different things. 

When you love someone it should be an addition to your own happiness, not the main source, and I know what I’m talking about, I made this mistake too. However, it’s totally fixable. 

Rediscover yourself: your tastes, needs and desires; learn to love your flaws so they turn into qualities. 

Loving yourself isn’t that hard. I think people are so afraid to be on their own, they don’t even give it a chance. Don’t be like them, take the risk. 

3. Relationships

As I mentioned in the last paragraph, you shouldn’t depend on your partner: he/she’ll run away eventually. It’s a lot of pressure to put on someone’s shoulders. 

Trust me, growing up on your own doesn’t mean losing your partner. If they really love you, they’ll be more than happy to see you shining again. Real love never leaves; it fades sometimes but comes back eventually. 

Be good on your own so you be fulfilled in your relationship.

To conclude, remember, the way you treat others is only the reflection of how much you love yourself.

Take care,

Jealousy, emotionally draining, self-destructive, giving a lot without receiving anything in return, dominance.

These are the answers you guys gave me when I asked on my Instagram page (@thebazaarofdina) how you would define a toxic relationship (friendly or romantic). 

Since the beginning of this blog, I’ve only focused on romantic relationships while there is so much to say about friendships too. 

The fusion

Every friendship, toxic or not, starts with - what I call - the fusional phase. It’s when you spend every minute of the day together for weeks non-stop, without getting annoyed of each other. You feel loved and valued, but most importantly: special. This is the first red flag. 

Being called “amazing, “wonderful”, “extraordinary”, all the time boosts your ego. Sadly, what you don’t realise is that this person you adore, is gaining control over you, day after day. 

The control 

As I’ve mentioned before, you start to lose control on your own life without knowing it.

Indeed, your new friend will start to tell you how ungrateful your other friends are, that you deserve better, that he/she is the only one who knows your worth, but also that all the other persons in your life are useless. This is called control. You’ll start isolating from everyone to the point where you’ll be alone but won’t feel it, because your “friend” is still here, “valuing” you.

The beginning of the nightmare

This is when things get harder. No more sweet talk or reassurance, just insensitive comments and hurtful words: it’s called emotional abuse. Your friend wants you to believe that you’re useless, a mess, only to compensate a lack of self-esteem. They know what to say or talk about in order to destabilise you, just so they can value themselves.

Waking up

Reconnecting with old friends, even family, will help you realise how alarming the situation is. You’ve been in a bubble for this entire time, completely detached from every positive thing in your life, but you can walk away. You have to trust yourself, rediscover your worth, love yourself again and benefit from the help you can receive. Friends, family, therapist, they’re all here with you and I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to have you back.

Concerning your toxic friend, he or she will constantly try to come back and hurt you again because they feel lonely and sad in their own lives. 

Don’t believe the sweet words, they’re all lies and stay strong. You’re in control now and forever. Life will congratulate you for saving yourself; trust the process. 

Take care,

NB: I don’t mean to sound insensitive in this article, but sometimes you have to be harsh for people to understand your point. Love.

I’ve recently noticed that we expect a lot from each other while dating.

But why? 

In certain situations, it’s because we’re insecure about our own struggles. Let me explain:

You’re so scared your partner is going to leave you because you’re anxious, that you won’t admit it. The more you keep it to yourself, the harder it will be to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. You have to own it. It’s okay to have anxiety, PTSD, OCD, even depression. Your partner is here to support you. 

Now the problem is, that sometimes, you unconsciously consider your companion as your therapist: sharing every single detail of your moods, constantly asking for solutions to your problems, crying everyday on the phone, etc.

 Do you know how overwhelming it can be for the other person? Some of us don’t know what to say or how to act in these kinds of situation because we feel responsible of you. As much as you want your partner to be by your side and understand you, make sure it doesn’t affect his/her mental state too. 

Also, it creates an emotional dependence. 

Why are you waiting for your loved-one to fix your own problems? It’s impossible and you know it deep inside. Nothing is going to change if you don’t take the first step. It’s your life, you’re in control, why put this power in someone else’s hands?

Breathe. Life is great. I know it sounds basic, but it’s true. There is so much to be grateful for: friends, family, health, food, nice weather, education, etc. 

I want you to do a list of 5 things you’re grateful for, as you’re reading these lines. 

Don’t forget that if you want to love someone, you have to love yourself first, otherwise you’re just dating because you need it, to compensate a lack of self-love.

Whatever you’re going through right now, I know you’ll be fine. 

Life is giant roller-coaster, enjoy the ride. 

Take care, 

Pour notre dernier témoignage, j'ai fais appel à un garcon, afin d'avoir un autre point de vue sur la situation.

1. Qui a mis fin à la relation?

"Nous n'étions pas officiellement ensemble mais c'est elle qui a coupé les ponts. Du jour au lendemain, elle a voulu prendre ses distances pour des raisons qui me sont encore inconnues. On peut dire que je me suis pris une grosse claque dans la gueule."

2. Comment t'es-tu senti(e) après la rupture?

"Comme je te l'ai dis juste avant, c’était un gros coup de massue. Je ne m'y attendais pas et jusqu'à aujourd'hui tout ca est assez flou pour moi. Je pense que sur le coup, je ne réalisais pas car j'étais dans l'incompréhension puis, petit à petit, j'ai compris et je me suis vraiment senti trahi et abandonné."

3. Quelle étape a-été la plus dure pour toi?

"Les réseaux. Ca va paraitre idiot, mais la voir afficher son bonheur et combien elle était heureuse sur ses stories ou son feed me faisait beaucoup de mal. Je ne comprenais pas comment elle pouvait aller aussi bien après cette "séparation". Maintenant, je sais que ce n'est pas la réalité mais quand tu as mal, tu espères au fond de toi que la personne en face ressente la même chose. Et quand c'est le contraire qui se produit, ca fait très mal."

4. Es-tu totalement passé(e) à autre chose?

"Ouf, question compliquée.

On se retrouve aujourd’hui pour le 2ème témoignage. J’espère que ca plaira autant que le premier!

Bonne lecture :)

1. Qui a mis fin à la relation?

“C’était une décision commune. Nous nous sommes tous les deux rendus compte que quelque chose ne fonctionnait plus et avons préféré y mettre fin en bons termes. Quand quelque chose se casse, il est très rarement réparable.”

2. Comment t’es-tu senti(e) après la rupture?

“Comme tout personne qui sort d’une relation qui a duré plusieurs années, j’étais brisée, vide, détruite. Je me sentais seule, j’avais perdu ma moitié, mon meilleur ami, mon confident, tout. Je me sentais mourir à petit feu c’était atroce.”

3. Quelle étape a-t-elle été la plus dure pour toi?

“Rencontrer d’autres personnes adorables mais au mauvais moment, comme ce que tu expliquais dans ton article sur “right person-wrong time”. J’avais encore mon ex en tête et j’esperais pouvoir revivre quelque chose avec lui même si notre amour était impossible.” 

4. Es-tu totalement passé(e) à autre chose?

Je me lance dans une série d’articles qui vont traiter du même sujet: la peine de coeur. Il y aura trois articles, soit trois témoignages, tous différents les uns des autres. Bien évidemment, pour respecter leur vie privée, je ne préciserai pas à qui appartient chaque témoignage.

Sur ce, bonne lecture :)

1. Qui a mis fin à la relation?

“Cela faisait déjà quelques temps que la relation battait de l’aile. Mensonges, tromperies, manipulation, la totale quoi. J’ai décidé de tout arrêter le jour où j’ai réalisé que ça n’en valait pas la peine: à quoi bon me battre pour une personne qui ne me respectait pas et me maltraitait. Je me suis aussi rendue compte que je ne l’aimais plus forcément, je restais par habitude et par peur de le quitter.”

2. Comment t’es-tu senti(e) après la rupture?

“Au début j’étais détruite. Je pleurais chaque jour et chaque nuit, je ne souriais plus comme avant, j’avais perdu la joie de vivre. Tous les reproches et remarques rabaissantes qu’il me faisait dans notre relation, me faisaient douter de moi. Je me demandais ce que j’avais fait de mal et si j’étais vraiment une bonne personne, même si j’étais convaincue que rien n’était de ma faute mais de la sienne.”

3. Quelle étape a-t-elle été la plus dure pour toi?

“L’étape la plus compliquée était de passer à autre chose sur le plan émotionnel. Je devais me convaincre que c’était bien fini et que je ne retournerai plus vers lui. A ce moment là, je ne réalisais pas encore à quel point cette relation était devenue toxique alors que tous les signaux étaient devant moi: les mensonges, les infidélités, etc. 

Quand je me suis rendue compte de tout ça je m’en suis beaucoup voulu. Comment ai-je pu rester avec une personne comme ca? Et comment pouvais-je penser que j’étais heureuse alors qu’il me détruisait?”

4. Es-tu totalement passé(e) à autre chose?

“Oui, sans aucune hésitation, à 100%. 

Après cette rupture, mes amis ont vraiment été présents et m’ont aidé à me reconstruire en me donnant des conseils, en rigolant et en me changeant les idées. Aujourd’hui je suis pleinement consciente que m’être mise avec lui était une erreur et que la meilleure chose à faire était de le quitter. 

(premier article en francais, soyez indulgents si ma synthaxe n’est pas parfaite!).

C’est un sujet que je voulais ABSOLUMENT aborder avec vous ici. Il est vrai que notre génération est plongée en plein coeur de cette tendance, et il nous arrive de ne plus faire la distinction entre nos réseaux et la vraie vie. 

1. Les publications d’amour

On est tous déjà tombés sur des comptes qui parlent de l’amour, qui repostent des tweets ou des soit-disant témoignages. 

Le problème avec ces comptes-là, c’est qu’ils normalisent les réactions démesurées comme la jalousie excessive ou la possésivité maladive. Fouiller dans les affaires personnelles de ton partenaire n’est pas acceptable, l’espionner quand il sort n’est pas raisonnable et l’étouffer n’est qu’un moyen de le faire fuir. 

Au lieu de promouvoir la confiance au sein du couple, on romantise les excès. Malheureusement, nous faisons croire à des personnes n’ayant encore aucune expérience que le vrai amour c’est ca: des crises de jalousie, des cachoteries, des mensonges. Mais aussi, il peut nous arriver de remettre en question l’amour de notre partenaire, par rapport à une publication lue sur Instagram.

L’amour n’est pas un empilement de crises de jalousie. Personnellement, je ne suis pas adhérante à ca et souhaite que mon partenaire soit du même avis que moi. Cependant, cela est très mal percu dans notre société actuelle. Comme s’il fallait forcément que j’apprécie et accepte la jalousie, et que j’en renvoie en retour afin de “valider” ma relation. 

Si tu as besoin de l’entendre, je te le dis: ce n’est pas grave si tu n’es pas de nature jalouse. Ne laisse pas ce qui t’entoures te faire douter de l’amour que tu portes à l’autre. L’amour ne se mesure pas et est différent pour tous.

En bref, ne laisse pas ce qui se dit en ligne influencer tes réactions ou celles de ton partenaire. Prends du recul et réalise que tout ca n’est que du virtuel.

2. Les appels et messages

C’est un sujet qui divise souvent.

Pour moi, l’amour que te porte quelqu’un ne se résume pas au nombre de minutes que vous avez passé au téléphone ou au bout de combien de temps il/elle a répondu à ton message.

Nous sommes tellement emportés par cette vague des réseaux sociaux que nous en oublions la vraie vie. Bien sur cela n’excuse pas tout, il ne faut pas prendre ce que je dis à l’extrême mais essayer de comprendre que l’importance que te portes une personne ne se reflète pas par 20 000 appels manqués et 40 commentaires Instagram. 

Maintenant, tout dépend de ta perception des choses. N’oublie pas que certaines personnes peuvent être parfaites derrière un écran et monstrueuses en réalité, et inversement. 

Le but de cet article est tout simplement de vous rappeller que sur les réseaux sociaux, on ne montre que ce l’on veut que les autres voient; la réalité est masquée. Ne base pas ta relation (amicale ou amoureuse) avec quelqu’un sur ce qu’il ou elle va poster en story ou dans son feed. Les relations sont tout d’abord humaines, ne laisse pas le virtuel prendre le dessus.

Love,

Meeting your person at the wrong moment. 

I don’t think I can find a word that’s powerful enough to describe this feeling. If you’ve ever felt it, then you know what I’m talking about. If not, I’ll try to explain it as much as I can. 

This feeling is the combination of excitement and disappointment. Excitement because you know you have the right one by your side, and the disappointment, because this isn’t the right time for you guys.

It could be for a lot of reasons: work, distance, family, highschool or college, etc. It’s life getting in the way of your love.

As hard as it is, you have no other choice than to accept it. If they really are the best person for you, you’ll reunite. If not, it’s alright. It means better things are on the way.

Now, the most painful part is letting them go and live their life. It means meeting new people, going to parties, giving them space to grow. Some people actually need to go through a bunch of bad decisions before settling down. You may be the perfect person for them but they first need to experience life and it has nothing to do with you. We’re all different, we all have different needs.

My point is, don’t overthink it too much. Trust me, I know the feeling, but what can you do, other than keep moving on with your life and wait? The universe works in strange, incomprehensible ways but does give you what you truly deserve. 

Trust the process and live. Go to parties, stay home, meet new people, reconnect with old friends, kiss a stranger or someone you know: do whatever you want. At the end of the day, if you really love your person, they won’t leave your mind even for a second; if they really love you too, they’ll find their way back.

If you’re going through this, I suggest you listen to one of my favourite songs: Phases by Prettymuch. You’ll relate. 

Love,

Love is the perfect balance between friendship and passion.

Love is when you’re lucky enough to enjoy life with your best friend. 

It’s waking up in the morning feeling fulfilled and happy; it’s making each other laugh while fighting; it’s accepting to show your weaknesses and vulnerability; it’s slow-dancing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, feeling so loved and loving so hard. And sometimes, it also is, wondering what you did to deserve this amazing person.  

Love is being on the same team. 

Supporting each other and giving enough freedom to your partner for him to grow. It’s having the guts to stand up for him/her in a certain situation, in front of everyone, no matter who’s right and who’s wrong. 

Being on the same team also means, it never is 50-50. Some days, you won’t be able to give more than 25. On other days, you’ll be the one giving 80. And it’s alright. It’s all about compensation and balance.

Love helps you grow.

Remember any time you fell in love. Haven’t you felt invincible? It’s like anything could happen to you, you were ready to fight it. That’s how powerful love is. It gives you the strength and courage to achieve bigger things and evolve as your own person. 

And most importantly, love isn’t a competition. 

It’s not a show-off or a “how’s more successful?” useless competition. Don’t ever make them feel ashamed of who they are and what they’ve done. Be there, support them, be proud of them, even if you don’t share the same interests or don’t understand what they’re doing. 

Now I think I said it all.

Love is the greatest gift of all times. If you’re lucky enough to have it, cherish it. 

If not, be patient and don’t force things. Pure love can’t be planned, it’s spontaneous and enters your life when you least expect it. The more you want to have it, the more you’ll attract toxic, bad people who’ll take advantage of your vulnerability. 

If you want to be loved, love yourself first. 

Take care & stay safe,