i wanna know who spent a once-in-a-lifetime event to take this horrifying aesthetically-pleasing picture

If you think dogs shouldn’t participate in sports please unfollow me.

God was like ‘ain’t gon be no fightin tonight!’

God be like: DIDNT I TELL YALL TO GO HOME ALREADY, I SAID SCRAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM… ⚡️⚡️⚡️

When God speaks, you listen.

“Well they ain’t about to rumble no more ahahaha” 😂😂😂😭😭 cameraman got me dead

My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around

wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific

My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.

wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.

I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.

I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?

When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored

Excuse me?

This post is like getting punched repeatidly, but from a different angle each time

elle and jake wouldn’t make it a competition, they’d want us to appreciate the other for doing a darn good job.

saw a comment on the thor ragnarok trailer saying “i hope people realize that this is not an accurate representation of norse mythology” and i’m like oh shit did thor actually not fight the hulk while jeff goldblum watch in his pajamas in norse mythology??? damn i got it all wrong im such a dumb idiot

this was a worthy interruption of the nothing i was doing

He like it

I’m crying

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

Holy fuck she knew

which is why the whole cape thing hit so hard. she didnt see it coming

I love the idea of a Super whose power is to amazingly see into the future and she just uses it for fashion design.

I still love it though

honestly? im done with the lies. being little spoon fuckign sucks okay? it really does. its hot and sweaty and cramped and you better believe that arm wrapped around you is gunna go from “acceptable foreign weight” to “there is a literal blue whale colony collapsed atop you” in about 2 minutes flat. yall forreal want a FLESH BLANKET encasing you??? a goddamn slab prison of human skin and Person Tissue draped across your corporeal form??? find a God and grovel for redemption.

can yall please stop reblogging this post i made after eating three entire packages of marshmallow peeps washed down with a near-deadly amount of nyquil 

Just say you’re a top and move on OP

I pray that people that say “money isn’t important, all you need is your health” don’t become disabled because I’m never in the mood for their breakdowns when reality hits