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blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

admittedly i know little of the subject but one would think, at 45 years of age, he would be a ryan goose by now

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

teeth are the horses of the body

[image description: a 3d model of a little, fat baby tiger with its eyes still closed. it's rendered with a shine that makes it look like it's made of ceramic. end description.]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

like i quite literally have never been more passionate about anything than i am about the human race’s invariable desire to tell stories and the fact that we always find a way to do it, through spoken language and written language and body language and visual art and theater and poetry and oral tradition and a million other things. there are so many things we take for granted about the human experience that we never stop to think about but i really want you to take a step back and consider how fucking amazing it is that our need to tell stories transcends all boundaries of time and geography and borders and language. it is one of very few things that is legitimately intrinsic to human nature and i will never stop being completely in awe of humanity for that.

[Description: a looping bouncy animation of grace and Rocky from project hail mary. Grace throws himself onto rocky for a hug, smiling and nuzzling his face to the top of Rocky's xenonite covered carapace. Rocky brings a claw up to ruffle Grace's hair and grace throws himself even more on top of rocky, rocky wrapping his arms around grace. End description.]

can you put that thing on a leash?

kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017